The Official Geologist Webpage


Real Ultimate Power


Hi, this site is all about geologists, REAL GEOLOGISTS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Ryan and I can't stop thinking about geologists.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.




1.    Geologists are mammals.

2.    Geologists play in the dirt ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the geologist is to draw with colored pencils and hit rocks.



Weapons and gear:



Geologist Estwing Rock Hammer                   Geologist Brunton Pocket Transit   



Geologist Outfit





Geologists can break any rock they want!  Geologists put lines on maps ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they hit rocks ALL the time.  I heard that there was this geologist who was mapping in the desert.  And when some dude misidentified an oolitic limestone the geologist lectured the whole town on carbonate petrology.  My friend Mark said that he saw a geologist totally laugh at some kid just because the kid didn't know the difference between myrmeketic and poikilitic.


And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If you don't believe that geologists have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will issue an eruption warning for your home town and property value will plummet!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  


Geologists are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Geologists are fast, smooth, cool, strong smelling, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start Geo 206: "Tectonics of Sedimentary Basins" next year.  I love geologists with all of my body (including my pee pee).    



Q and A:.



Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about geologists?

A: Geologists are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they are glorified construction workers, but on the other hand, geologists are very careful and precise scientists with nice shiny machines and computers.


Q: I heard that geologists are always quantitative.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other scientists, geologists can be quantitative OR totally awesome. 


Q: What do geologists do when they're not coloring with pencils or hitting rocks?

A: Most of their free time is spent drinking beer, but sometime they drink whiskey or Gin and Tonics.  (Ask Brian if you don't believe me.)



This is a picture of my advisor Brian showing off his mountain.

He's a lot older than me and has both a PhD and tenure,

which is bragable.