Teething? Lilah is still a genial baby, so we keep fearing that a tooth
will finally mess everything up. There was some discussion back around
Thanksgiving time about teeth. As of December 31st there were no teeth
whatsoever. But as of January 1st everything has changed. No more speculation,
no more idle chat. It's a tooth, clear and simple. Now when she bites down
with the powerful jaws you are no longer gummed to death.
You are gummed-plus-one-tooth to death. A fate to be feared.
Day 240 (4 Mar 2006):
It's hard to not keep apologizing for how long it has been since the last
Lilah update. So here it goes: um. sorry. Something about 8 (!) month olds
plus a couple of jobs a bit a travel and a new house (!!) makes it
tough to keep updating Lilah's website. But I checked, and Lilah forgives
me. Phew. But there is much big news to relate. So here it is:
Lilah crawls! Last I wrote she was in the almost-crawling state and I was
wondering when crawling-proper would commence. I think the official record
keeping will have to say 7.5 months of age. A few weeks before that she
was moving -- if you sat her down and let her go in a few minutes she would
be in a different space -- but you couldn't really call it crawling exactly.
All of the individual limbs were doing their jobs, but not with any
coordination. Now, though, she is a crawling machine. She loves to crawl.
She loves to explore. She loves to try to get to the cat food. We have, like
most parents, been anticipating and also dreading this moment, but I have to
admit that I think it is a significant plus. She is really able to entertain
herself with exploration of the house in ways that she couldn't do when
stationary. We have to watch a bit more closely, but so far not ridiculously so.
Maybe when she finds the vasts of bubbling poisons that we keep in the
cabinents below the sink (conventiently close to the cat food to which she
is continusouly drawn) we will start to become a bit more frantic. But
so far so good.
The best day of her little life, for me, came last weekened. We were kicked
out of our house for Sunday because there was an open house there so
that we could sell it since we sort of accidentally bought a new house, so
we were hanging out in Diane's father's condo. D. and I were both exhausted
so we were collapsed on the floor with Lilah between us. She was thrilled. She
is not quite to the "pulling up" stage where she can go to some object, grab
it, and pull her self up to standing, but she is definitely in what now call
the "pushing up" stage, where she will go to some object (usually a prone leg),
crawl up on it, and then push her legs up so they are straight to the ground
while her opper body is still perpendicular to the ground. It seems likely
that it will only be days before she then looks up, grabs something higher, and
is truly pulling up to a standing position. But for now pushing up is all
the rage. That Sunday afternoon at Diane's father's Lilah spent most of
an hour crawling over to Diane, pushing up to her perpendicular position,
looking at mom and dad to make sure they were looking at her, immediately then
being fascinated by dad two yards away, crawling over to him, pushing up
to semi-standing, looking around, noticing mom two yards away, crawling over,
pushing up, noticing dad, crawling over, pushing up, ad nauseaum. I am pretty
sure she would have done this until bed time. It was the most crawling she
had ever done and she was sweating up a storm. By the end of the day she
was perhaps the most exhausted we had seen her.
As you can see from the Lilah sleep logs (well, if I ever take the
time to post the data...) Lilah had been on quite a roll of sleeping and
sticking to her dad-imposed schedule until a few weeks ago when she
suddenly began waking up in the night and waking up early in the morning
crying like she hadn't before. Why, Lilah, why? Sadly, I think the blame
can be rested squarely on her parents. Lilah was fine until the day that
her parents decided, all of the sudden, to put a bid in on a new house. D.
and I had been talking for a while of the need for a bigger house to
accomodate Lilah and her currently-hypothetical sibling, but I was
resistant to the idea. I had bought our current house six years earlier
and I had declared several times since then that I never ever ever wanted to
move. The house was small but I absolutely loved it. Deep down inside, though,
I knew that we would someday have to move, and I dreaded it. We had looked at
a few houses in the past, all of which were larger and
cost ridiculous amounts of money, and none of which I would trade for our
nice little house. But on February 10th we looked at a house ("just for fun" we
said. "to stay in practice" we said. "to get a feel for what is out there" we
said.) and fell in love with that one, too. It truly was the first time
I would trade my house for another and be happy. We joked about it over
the weekend, thinking we couldn't actually really seriously honestly put in
a bid for such a fabulous place but then we somehow, against all reason, did.
On Valentine's day the owner accepted our offer and suddenly we were thrown
into a frenzy. We needed to finalze everything with the new house, sell the
(now) old house (though nice, it was not really
in selling-shape just yet) and think about moving. All instantly.
Lilah noticed. The real stress started on Valentine's day and continued
through now (the old house is sold now, so I think (hope?) the stress
level will decline for a few weeks until we have to move) and Lilah's sleep
patterns show it. The weeks that the house was for sale Lilah and Amy and
Daisy all stayed at Amy's house during the day, which was great, but Lilah was
thrown off by that and the stress of her parents when she came home. Sorry
Lilah! I think she'll appreciate the new house as she grows up so she will
forgive us (she'll definitely love the pool, and there is this cool part of
the yard which goes down into a canyon with trails through the oak trees. D.
says that this will be a place that Lilah will find completely magical to
play in between ages 7 and 13 and that when Lilah is a teenager she will
find it a great place to hide from her parents and smoke pot with her
So that's the current Lilah excitement. Perhaps someday I will get back to
more regular updates. It seems unlikely though, doesn't it? This update is
courtesy of a six hour airplane ride from New York.
My last thought is about Lilah nicknames. For reasons lost in time of lack
of sleep, the first nickname that we used for Lilah that either of us
can remember is "Schmoo". Usually as in "the Schmoo". The little babbling
things that she said were "Schmoo-sounds". After a month or two, "Lilah"
became "Smiley" since, in fact, she was superbly smiley. So the car with
Lilah's seat in it is known, to this day, as the Smiley-mobile. These
days the name that has stuck is courtesy of my brother and his wife,
Uncle Andy (aka Andy-Bob) and Aunt Kathy (aka Kiffey). All nieces and
nephews are named after vegetables. First nephew Thomas is "tater". Sam
is "spud". It could be that there was a tuber theme developing. But after
much contemplation, Lilah became "Lima Bean", creating, perhaps, the new
convention that boys are tubers and girls are legumes. "Lima Bean" has
been slighly modified on a day to day basis to "Lilah Bean" and she is
now mostly known, for short, as "Bean" or, in the third-person, "the Bean."
I've missed the Bean for the past few days. I'm on my way home from one of the
longest trips since her birth. What's she going to be like when I get home?
Actually standing? Able to wave bye-bye (we're working on that one now)?
Finally relaxing now that mom and dad are more relaxed? Is that first bad
case of diaper rash all resolved (we don't really need to talk about that,
now, do we?). Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait.
Day 195 (18 Jan 2006):
Lilah, Lilah, Lilah. We had our six month pediatrician appointment the other day and the doctor
asked us to give Lilah a grade for her first six months. I promptly responded "A+" and then
tried to defend me grade against the obvious accusation of favoritism. I think I did OK. Lilah
really is an A+ these days. Nice. Easy. Adaptable. Perfect. Right?
So what happened? In the span of about a week Lilah suddenly has changed personality entirely.
She suddenly has opinions about things. Like the fact the she can't reach a toy after she drops
it. So she screams. Or the fact that she is bored sitting in this same place, thank you very
much. So she screams. She is also an energetic kid who is always pounding. For example, in
the blink of an eye (literally in this case) she will grab my glasses and begin pounding them
against my head. Or she will take a spoon and bang bang bang it on my knee (which,
incidentally, actually hurts). Apparently she is also not so nice to Amy who she spends the
day with. Daisy says that Lilah kicks Amy in the back (Lilah's been riding in the back of the
double stroller, which I think will change after today) and pulls her hair. I thought this
sort of girl behavior didn't start until middle school! Jeez. I think she just needs to get to
the crawling stage so she can release some of the energy on her own, but at the same time her
currently level of pounding and grabbing sure makes me worried about the crawling stage. In
any case, it will happen within the week, I think. She now has all of the individual movements
down to crawl but just hasn't gotten them all put together just yet. But because she desperately
wants things out of her reach she also has great incentive. I think very soon it will happen.
God save us all.
While the physical changes are amazing to watch,
I am fascinated by looking for signs of intellectual development which might be coming soon.
For now it seems clear that she shows no recognition whatsoever of any words. Not her name, not
mom, dad, daisy, amy, or kitties (the main beings in her life). But it will presumably
blossom on her face any time now. She also appears to show no sign of imitaiton: you babble
something to her and she babbles back the same thing. Or she babbles, you imitate, and she
seems to notice. Perhaps this one is more that I don't quite know what to count as noticing
but it sure doesn't appear to me. The babbling is getting more sophisticated but no real words
yet (this is way to early for that, though). It also appears that her calculus skills are
sadly lacking, which I find particularly disheartening.
The other big change is that Lilah now loves her solid food. Oatmeal, rice, peas, beans, sweet
potatoes, peaches, apples, bananas, you name it. She'll eat it. She loves it so much that now
she's hard to feed because she wants to grab the spoon and shove it in her mouth but she
can't quite get it right (usually hits left cheek with spoon sideways).
No discussion of the milk-to-solid food transition would be complete without mentioning how that
transition changes the olfactory qualities of a baby's solid waste. But I won't mention
that here. Why not? Because if I don't mention it and don't write it down maybe some day
I will forget. Maybe some day I will not have to do that sharp gasp every time I pull the
full diaper down these days. Maybe some day it will seem as inconsequential and routine as
it did for those first magical six months. Maybe. But I won't mention any of that.
Finally, our mission to get Lilah to bed earlier is going quite well, as you can see (when I update
the sleep plots. Soon. Soon. I promise). She is a pretty regular 12-hour sleeper, but there
have been some rough patches recently, either connected with the grandparent's visiting and all
of the excitement of that or with the scaling back of milk as she has more solid food or
something else entirely (teething! why didn't I blame teething!). She has definitely been
doing more crying and screaming and even occasional nighttime waking these days that in a long
long time. And, the best part is that I consider her waking up at 6:30am early. So I guess
really I should stop complaining, shouldn't I.
Day 189 (12 Jan 2006):
Just when we have gotten used to how we feed little Lilah things are changing once again.
A bit has switched somewhere and now she digs the solid food. Oatmeal? Yummmm. Peas? Good stuff.
Green beans (ok, less good). Sweet potatoes? Awesome. Rice cereal (bland and uninteresting).
Instead of turning her head away she now leans forward and
grabs at the spoon to put the whole thing in her
mouth. Now we have a whole new set of issues to worry about. How much solid food does
she get and when? How do we start phasing out the formula? Do we start giving her water?
Juice? Beer? Tough enough to figure all of this out, but it changes about once a month now
for at least the next six months, at which point, if I understand things correctly, she will more
or less be snacking off my plate and swilling milk. Too bad. All formula all day was such a
easy life for us. It's not that we don't want Lilah to grow up, it's just that we don't want
to have to figure out what comes next. Argh.
In other news Lilah is almost on the way to crawling (in fact, Daisy claimed she crawled
today, but I could not independently verify this claim). If you put her on her stomach on
the floor she randomly moves her way over a ~4 foot area over the course of half an hour, but
never in the direction she tries (it's actually somewhat sad to watch: if she really really
really wants something right out of her reach she struggles and struggles to get to it and
moves herself backwards all the while). If she's on the slick counter top she can definitely
spin towards anything that she wants (usually a very startled cat).
Day 180 (3 Jan 2006):
Oh hey and did I mention the new sleep regime? In mid-December we decided it
was time to instill some discipline on the little beast. She has been having
a last feeding around 9:30 and I asked some friends when they transitioned
their children to an earlier bed time. They looked at me like I was nuts.
Apparently everyone else has problems on the other end. The kids go to sleep
early but don't sleep all night. Lilah would stay awake later and sleep all
night. We, of course, want it all. So we started trying more of the routine,
which now goes something like this: about 8:15, Lilah gets a bath (every other
day, really). By 8:30 she gets fed. By 9 she has had some books read to her
and she is in bed. The trick turned out to be to put her to bed while she
is awake, which we were avoiding before. When she was up until 10pm she
would fall asleep at her last feeding. Now she is groggy but awake when
we put her down at 8:40-9:00. She sometimes sits and talks to herself and
even once or twice (at the begining) cried out, but within about 15 minutes
she is sound asleep. We thought we were going to be in for the dreaded
let-her-cry-it-out routine, but the only night it was really bad was one
night near the begining when we had friends over and a bottle of wine. We
figured that was the best solution. Sit and drink and talk to friends and
ignore the child. Worked like a charm. And now look how consist her bedtimes
are (other than last night.....)
Day 179 (2 Jan 2006):
Time for the New Year and an update on this month's Lilah. This months had
some good moments, some sad moments, a slew of firsts, and a couple of lasts.
In no particular order:
Lilah is sitting up, mostly. She can sit for minutes at a time, but all
sitting sessions end with some sort of crash (well, not really, because I am
always here to catch her when she falls. like a cheesy top 40 song or something. but she WOULD fall without me there). Often it is just a sideways topple, but
if there is an object in front of her that she can't quite get to she will
instead do a lunge that leaves her with a high speed face plant. Not tragic
when on the bed, but do it a few more times on the counter top, Lilah, and
that button nose of yours will be permanent. Note to readers: ok, I really
don't let her do the face plants. But she would, given the change.
Lilah loves to jump and bounce. She's always been a good stander, but
in the past month I was worried that she was somehow losing it. But what really
is happening is that as soon as she is standing she wants to bounce up and
down and jump, which, when you're holder her, seems much like legs collapsing
under her weight, which was what happened back at month 3.
One week ago, Lilah completed her first full sentence. Diane and I went in in the morning to get her out of bed, she rolled over, looked up, smiled her
toothless smile, and said "hi dada" to which I instantly responded "hi Lilah"
and Diane was agast. Until Lilah then said "bla bla blu da da di da bli bli da da ah ah ooooo eee bleee ac." Approximately. I suspect that that was a full
sentence, too, but I couldn't translate that one as quickly.
Lilah is now eating solid food! Or, more precisely, we sneak mush into
her mouth when she is not looking and she can't spit it out so she swallows it.
On the bad list: rice cereal. green beans. OK list: oatmeal. Possibly
good list: peas. The peas were broken out today for the first time and Lilah
actually opened her mouth as if she even wanted to eat!
Lilah's great grandmother, Dorothy Winking, of whom you can see pictures
from last Thanksgiving, passed way in her sleep 2 weeks ago at age 99. Lilah
can be happy if she got those longevity genes passed on (they certainly
don't pass through the men in my family). Dorothy had been having a pretty
hard time for the past few years and frequently said she was ready to leave.
When she found out Lilah was on the way (her first great-granddaughter!) she
decided that she at least wanted to stick around to meet her. We made it out
there for Thanksgiving, though it was a bit touch-and-go whether or not
great grandma would make it until then. The first day we went to visit she
was pretty out of it, though we were pretty sure that she knew we were there.
On Thanksgiving day, though, things were much better and Lilah held Dorothy's
finger and snuggled up against her. Everyone came to visit that day: her only
child (my mother), her grandchildren (my brother, me, my sister), and her
great-grandchildren (my sister's two boys and Lilah). She passed away in
her sleep two weeks later, as she wanted.
Lilah loved her first Christmas. It had all of the best elements: paper
everywhere, people to talk to, and many many candles. Next year she might
want more than wrapping paper. Maybe boxes will have to do.
Day 145 (29 Nov 2005):
I guess it's time to stop moaning about how infrequently I update Lilah's site
these days and just accept it. Now that Daisy is working full time and I am
working full time when I get home from work I don't seem to have time to
actually write anything. Or input data. Or update pictures.
But fear not: even during all of this period the data have been accumulating, the pictures have been obtained. And, finally, a bit of an update.
Highlights? A flight across the country for Thanksgiving: Lilah slept the whole time and made one small sound. Perfect baby. Flight back? Lilah slept almost none. Fussed instead. I got to carry her all around the airplane wondering when
turbulence was going to knock us on our heads.
Lilah got to meet her 99-year old great grandmother. Pictures to follow.
GGM is in a nursing home in Alabama and doesn't move or talk much, but she lit
up when Lilah came in. Lilah help on to her finger and tried to pull any tubes she could find (not a good idea, Lilah).
Lilah sure does wake up between 4 and 6 a lot these days. Diane and I
take turns on who has to get up and feed her. Last night it was Diane's turn
and she was somewhat slow to get out of bed, fill a bottle, and get to Lilah's
room. By the time she got these Lilah had gone back to sleep. Hmmmm.....
How should I deal with the data when we change time zones? Traveling is SO confusing.
Lilah is taking increasingly longer naps in the daytime. This is a good
thing. At least for Daisy.
Lilah spent about 2 weeks not talking ("talking" meaning making little
baby sounds such as squealing). As this period approximately corresponded to
the point at which autism starts to show up in babies, I became mildly paranoid.
Doesn't talk? What else doesn't she do. I did my quick check of everything
and found that everything else is ok, but she should be well into consonants
by now (mostly she only had vowels figured out). As soon as she got to Alabama
for Thanksgiving, though, she started squealing like mad. I don't know if she
just needed more interaciton or it is just one of those things, but you would
never have known that she spent two weeks not talking. She even has a few
consonants now, like the letter "B". Particularly with a whole buzzing sound.
Lilah is now enamored of rolling over. She will spend only seconds on
her back before she is on her front. And while before she would complain if
we ever tried to put her on her front, she now rolls over and lies there
contentedly. Sometimes she bunches up a burp towel to use as a pillow.
Parents blame everything on teething. Wake up at night? Must be teething.
Fussy one day? Teething. Slight fever? Must be the teeth. I truly believe, however, that Lilah is indeed teething at this point. Why? (1) My sister, mother of
two, said so, based on looking in her mouth and saying "hey look teeth!"
(um, ok, if you say so....) (2) Lilah is starting to do this weird tongue chewing thing where she looks like an old man. And everyone knows that old men are
always teething (3) We gave Lilah a nice cold chewy teething ring to play with
last night and she wouldn't let it go. Not that she doesn't just chew on
everything. But still.
Lilah had her first fever! It got up to 102.4 briefly, which seems high to
me, so I even called the pediatrician, just to be sure, but he said don't sweat
it until she gets to 104. (104? yikes. I'm pretty sure proteins denature at
that temperature.) The fever went away pretty quickly and she was fine by the
afternoon. Must have been teething.
Day 124 (8 Nov 2005):
Happy four month birthday to Lilah! I hate to generically say
"gee it all goes by so
quickly" except that, gee, it all goes by. So quickly. I was just
reexamining Lilah's Thursday pictures a moment ago and I was, indeed,
amazed at how fast she changes (which
was the point of the Thursday pictures to begin with, right?).
And she has been sleeping so well these last two nights (ok, so I
haven't had time to
input the data, but take my word for it). It just takes two nights in a
row of Lilah sleeping 10 hours to convince me that she is finally back
to her long sleeps and
she won't wake up in the middle of the night ever again. I'm sure I'm
wrong. And when she
does it's my turn. But I'm still convinced.
Day 122 (6 Nov 2005):
Lilah is getting a bit out of hand. Sure, she's generally a good
natured well behaved
happy girl, but what is up with the last few nights? At least Diane and
I now take explicit turns on who has to get up. That meant that at 3am
this morning when Lilah
awoke (3am???? when did she last wake up that early? answer: 12
days ago) Diane
had to get up. Yesterday when Lilah awoke at 6:40am I was in charge.
Hardly seems fair,
does it? Just the luck of the draw. So anyway, what is up with these
crazy waking timeS?
The promise of all of this record keeping is that perhaps we can
actually find patterns. So far it was useful back at the begining for
general expectations, it's
been great for knowing when she'll need to feed, and it's worked for
some idea of the best ways of getting her to sleep at night. But what
to sleep through the night?
Here's question one: is there any correlation between how much formula
has during a day and when she wakes up the next morning? If she's
waking up because she is hungry perhaps this is why?
AH HA! OK, so I can't answer everything, but the two times she woke up
at 3am also
correspond to the two smallest daytime feeds, when she only had ~27
ounces of formula.
There is no correlation with the 4:30am wakeups, though. They seems to
matter if she had 30 or 36 ounces. But it definitely looks like we
should be more
carefuly and make sure she doesn't have anymore 27 ounce days.
What about a guess that sleeping too much during the day makes her not
sleep as long at
night? Looking at the red/green plot doesn't make it seem like there
be too much to that. But since being formula fed she has been quite
random, with an
almost perfect 50/50 split between waking up at ~7am or later and
waking up while it
is still dark out. What gives???
Day 119 (3 Nov 2005):
OK. I lost. Lilah woke up at 4:30am. I thought I was going to
just go in, say "hi" and
then have her go back to sleep, but as soon as I walked in she suddenly
got agitated and made it seem she really really really really wanted to
be fed. So I gave in. I
don't know if at this point we should not be giving in yet. Probably
soon. But so far
we have found that if she cries out at night she either goes back to
immediately, and then so do we, or she starts to get more and more
agitated until she
has worked herself up into a complete fit and I picture, in my sleepy
state, her completely wrapped around her blankets suffocating and
choking herself. Not a pretty
picture to have in your 4am mind, I tell you. So I get up.
Note, however, that now that Diane and I are both back to work full
time we are, in
theory, switching off who has to get up at night. We'll see how the
theory actually works.
Back to last night, though. Perhaps we should have let Lilah doze for a
bit at 8pm
and then had her wake up for a final feed at 10pm. I dunno. These days
count how much formula she has per day (hmmmm, I see a new plot
coming....) and I
think I know when she is all done and doesn't need any more
for the night.
So when I know that a certain feed will be her last but it is too early
should I hold out? Try wake her a little later? Definitely time to
Day 118 (2 Nov 2005):
Lilah! What a crazy little girl. We are in the process once
again of trying to figure
everything out from scratch. As of Monday Daisy is now doing full time
nanny duty and
I am back to work (someday, perhaps, on the difficulties there. Diane
cried her first day back to work. I thought of all of those things I
wished I had had time to
do with Lilah while I was still on leave. I'm still on leave until
January, so I
tell myself I'll take days off to come do stuff with Lilah, but you
should believe it
when you read it) and Daisy's Lilah schedule is a very different one
from the one I
would impose. As of now the best I can say is that she seems to feed
her more frequently
in the daytime. One very interesting aspect of that for the past few
days has been that
Lilah is pretty full by the time evening comes around. Last night she
fed at 5:05pm and
then not again until 9:00pm and then she was out cold until morning.
The night before she had a RECORD AGAIN feeding early and then sleeping
late. We hope that the trend is for switching her last feed of the
night from 9pm-ish to 8pm-ish (of course we do seem
to have a hard time actually finishing dinner by then but that is a
Amy, who shares Daisy with Lilah and is two weeks younger than Lilah,
is on a different
schedule entirely. Funny to see two girls of almost the same age have
almost no characteristics in common. Amy sleeps 3 hours during the day
and goes for hours and hours
between feeds. But then I think she doesn't sleep so well at night.
Just a reminder that
Lilah is just a single data point and may bear no relationship
whatsoever to any other
girl under the sun. Or orbiting the sun.
It's interesting having Daisy take care of Lilah as you also see that
Lilah can be a very different girl when someone else imposes her will
on her. We still only communicate maybe 30% well with Daisy so it
wasn't possible to go into the minute detail of precisely what Lilah
likes and dislikes so Daisy had the chance to figure it out herself
and -- behold! -- what Lilah likes is different than we thought.
Over the weekend Lilah had a random baby sitter in Palm Springs who we
in detail to and even then all behavior was different (including --
gasp -- Lilah figuring
out for the first time how to roll from her back to her front. She
doesn't yet know
what to do once she gets there, since she doesn't much like being on
her front, but
the rolling happenes nonetheless). Saturday night Lilah got fed at
something like 8pm and
the babysitter proceeded to make sure she finished her bottle over the
course of an hour.
We usually just let Lilah figure when she is done and then don't push
it. And then? Lilah was exhausted and wouldn't wake up for a latter
feeding (we did pay for that one,
though, with an early morning Lilah wake up call).
Tonight we have a similar idea. Daisy fed Lilah enough that by her
~8:15 feed she really
was not going to need any more for the night. Sure enough, she feel
asleep while D. fed her, so we just put her down. But what will happen
in the morning? It seems that mostly
these days she gets up when she hears someone. Will she stay asleep
until 6:30am? (wouldn't even be a record these days), or will she do an
~8 hour stint and wake up at 4am?
D. and I just debated who has to get up when Lilah does. I win the
prize. Please sleep
Day 113 (28 Oct 2005):
What a crazy Lilah week this has been. First, though, a little
celebration. Last night Lilah eeked in another record between feeds: 10
hours 40 minutes! I think we have night time going to sleep figured out
better, at least. One of the tricks seems to be to go back to the
feeds that we used to do right before bedtime. Last night she only took
little bottle on the first, and a medium bottle on the second, but she
slept well. And most nights she seems to be able to put herself to
after a feed, a little reading, and then lights out. She talks for
minutes and then is out.
The rest, though. Crazy. Sorry to not have time for details (though you
tell by looking at her red/green plot!). We are off for the weekend so
I can give a couple of talks about -- you guessed it -- that 10th
again. Updates again on Sunday.
Day 111 (26 Oct 2005): It
worked it worked it worked! Or was it just luck? I don't know, but she
had a very nice 9 hour sleep. And she went to sleep very nicely during
her 10pm feed (actually even better: she wasn't quite asleep when I put
her down and she talked to herself a bit and then went to sleep.
Nice!). This is the way we want her nights to be!
Day 110 (25 Oct 2005):
See, Mom, I had to feed Lilah again last night! She went to
sleep well last
night, but then woke up at 3:30am with a cry. Just one. Ignore. 3:35am.
cry. Try to pretend it's not there. Maybe she'll go back to sleep.
after half an hour of this I give up. Get up. Feed. And even then she
awake for a while since she had worked herself up to quite a frenzy. I
think that theoretically I'm supposed to not get up at night to feed
she does take a pretty big bottle, so she really is hungry. I think. I
I have examined the data for her past few weeks carefully and realized
one new thing going on is that she is taking substantial evening naps.
have now been outlawed. At least theoretically. Except that after
tonight (our dinner, not hers) she could not keep her eyes open. I kept
trying to keep her awake, but in the end the eyelids were made of lead.
I decided she was allowed a half hour nap. We are then going to go for
2 hour spaced power feeds like we used to do, so a 8pm feed as soon as
wakes and then a 10pm (or even 9:30pm?) feed.
On a good note, I had her go to sleep without dancing around with her
afternoon. She was clearly really really tired at 9:30am and wanted to
danced to sleep but I sat her down on the bed and talked to her. It
an hour and much fussing and many attempts at getting her to take a
but eventually she really did go to sleep. And slept well. With Ike. On
I realize the danger there, as Ike still weighs 50% more than her, but
he doesn't move much.
OK. So it's 8pm. I'm off to wake her up. It's only 2 hrs since her last
feeding (and she ate a lot), but I'm going to try. Wish me luck....
Funny Lilah. She absolutely positively did not want a bottle. She has
never resisted one so visciously. She rejected and then cried and cried
and cried. She cried so much that the only thing I could think of to
her was.... a bottle. Which she drank. Not much, but perhaps enough
in 2 more hours she can get a last feed and sleep. Please, Lilah,
Day 109 (24 Oct 2005):
OK, so I'm in trouble now. My mother has found the daily logs
chided me for making Diane get up to feed Lilah at night when D. is
work in the morning and I am not. Luckily for me, last night Lilah woke
2:30am, and I got up to feed her. Whew. Off the hook. OK, wait, though,
get back to that one. "Luckily for me"??? When is the last time Lilah
at 2:30am? (those who study their graphs carefully would quickly answer
months ago!"). So, clearly, we are having issues. Besides just my
mother worrying about Diane's sleep (I know, I know, it was bad, but
used to the idea of getting up at night for feeding and I wasn't
it seemed natural to let her keep doing it..... OK. Never
mind. I was just being a bad guy). But the issues. I haven't marked
Lilah as fussy
for a few nights, though if I had a festering pink I might have used
Basically the issue is that we simply have not figured out night time
in the era of the bottle. We were so happy with how well the
beast was going to sleep in the era of mommy-feeding. We knew we were
We repeatedly fretted about the curse of being smug. But still. You
dissuade a curse simply by acknowledging that it might happen. And it
It's not that most of the past 2 weeks she hasn't slept through the
once again, I should probably be worrying about curses here, rather
than fretting. But fretting is one of the things that I do best. So
here I go.
Lilah does not go down well after a bottle. For a while it was reds.
Now it is
simply awakes that could perhaps be called reds. One reason that she
well back in the brest feeding days is that we had the schedule down:
Lilah needed a power feed 2 hours before her last feed of the night.
Does she still
with the bottle? I can't tell yet. Theoretically I should be able to
I know that she needs about 30 oz. of formula a day and I track how
takes so I know how much she needs for her last two feedings. But so
all of the tracking in the world has not yet worked. Plus Daisy (who is
fabulous, by the way, sorry Sarah, I think you're out of a job) still
not have all the tracking down quite yet.
I think, though, that we still just need to figure out a nighttime
ritual as good as the old one (which was simply "take a long time to
eat and go to sleep
in the meantime"). We're trying that as I type: Diane has Lilah in her
and fed her after I gave her a bath. Diane is reading to Lilah (I hear
"Goodnight Moon" action happening right now). Lilah, however, is
back to the books. I hear her squealing in delight, which is about the
thing she ever does, except when it is her bedtime, when it is, ok,
cutest damned thing in the entire damned world. A bit distracting as I
write this. Diane is now wondering how she is going to get her to
sleep. I have
no idea. So far my data are not really quite up to the task upon us.
As fretted frequently in the previous days, we had no business plan for
we would put her to sleep other than feeding and dancing. Dancing still
(Jack Johnson is still a favorite, though she is quite the Ollabelle
days, too, if the right song is on. Willie Nelson makes her cry. She'll
learn, though). But we need her to go to sleep on her own. [whoops. hi
she just came out to visit. wide awake.] I mean, when she is 90 lbs,
I really be able to pick her up and dance around with her (I certainly
hope so, but even now my back is getting a little sore as she
surpasses the small kitty [patton] in weight and begins to close in
on the fat kitty [ike])?
All of which brings us to last night, which is as good an example as
any. She fed at 8pm, but from looking at her total intake I knew she
done for the night. I figured I could force-feed her again at 10pm and
get her to take 3-4 ounces and perhaps sleep. But at 9:30 she started
and then fell asleep with a pacifier. At 10pm she was still sound
I didn't know what to do. Wake her to feed her? Let her sleep but
she'll wake up at 4am? I opted to wake her. At first she would only
take an ounce or two and then fall asleep. But over the course of about
30 minutes she finally tooks something like 5 oz. Phew, think I. She'll
do her normal sleep until 7:30. So when, at 2:30am, she lets out a cry,
I think "no problem,
this will go right away." At 2:40am when she is crying a little harder
think "perfect. she'll learn to put herself to sleep at night." At
2:50am she was starting to heave I thought "really it is not fair to
make Diane give Lilah middle of the night feedings, since Diane has to
work in the morning"
so I got up and fed Lilah. She sucked down 6 oz. faster than I've ever
I went back to sleep, but not until I remember that I too had to get up
to go to work the next morning. So Diane and I are even, Mom.
Tonight? Who knows what will happen. Asleep soon? Sleep all night? Wake
up at 4am? (I'm on again if she does, since tomorrow I am actually not
work). We're convinced, with no evidence to support our theory, that a
consistent ritual will make everything work out right. We just haven't
figured out what the ritual is. But if you see me start to make
small animals on my front porch, at least you'll have some
what I am working towards.
p.s. she did it! Diane put Lilah down. She fussed a bit. She is now
asleep. There is hope yet.
Day 104 (19 Oct 2005):
New experiment of the day: failure. I tried to feed Lilah her
last bottle and then put her to sleep groggy but not asleep. She was
awake for half
and hour just talking to herself in her room but eventually she started
crying. OK, I thought. Time to steel yourself for the "let her cry
to sleep" trick. I went in a talked to her, but didn't pick her up. The
crying intensified. I waited 5 minutes, walked in, talked to her,
didn't pick her up. The crying got as bad as I have ever heard. I broke
picked her up and held her and rocked her and she slowly sobbed in my
arms until she was convinced that the world was OK. I rocked her and
her and finally put her down when she was asleep. WAAAAAHHHHHHH! OK.
her up. Rocked her some more. Put her down: waaaaaahhhhh. The final
a half hour later, was, of course, dancing to Jack Johnson. She lasted
on 2 songs and the poor exhausted girl was finally down. OK, I know
am supposed to hold out and let her cry and that is better in the long
but she sounds so sad. And I so hate it when she sounds sad. I am in
trouble. But at least, for now, she is asleep.
The daytime Daisy records were better today. I got feed times and sleep
accurately, I think, but not end-of-sleep times, so I made up how long
slept each time. Don't know if it is true. Daisy did report that she
no solid diapers all day. Luckily, she was just saving it all up for
Thanks, Lilah. Diane's comment when I had her come help with the
messy diaper: Holy Shit. Indeed.
And this morning she did she is not supposed to do: a 5:30 am wakeup.
I both considered ignoring her and seeing if she went back to sleep but
we didn't have the strength. It is still 8 1/2 hours between feeds, so
we shouldn't whine too much, but in some ways getting up to feed at 4am
then going back to sleep is better than getting up at 5:30am and
awake. I say this theoretically, as I actually don't do the getting up.
I guess really I should since I am not going to work and Diane is, huh?
Lilah didn't even take all that much to eat this morning. I think she
still just rattled from the previous night. But she's still asleep now
and maybe she'll just sleep the rest of the day....
Day 103 (18 Oct 2005):
Now that Lilah is a formula-only baby, it is time to assuage
my formula-related guilt. To that end, an ode to forumla, in prose
But first, a rant.
It is always said that mother's milk is better for the baby, for
reasons of nutrition and immunity and health and etc. and etc. Sadly,
as a curious scientist, I can't actually find any unbiased studies
of what is going on. Most of the people discussing these studies have
huge political axes to grind and don't give dispassionate
conclusions. And I don't understand the epidemeology literature well
enough to be able to independently assess the conclusions that are
reached (and, incidentally, I suspect most of the people who comment
understand it well enough either). Are the advantages of breast milk
Do they correctly take into account socio-economical differences of the
samples? Or all of the rest of the differences? I wish I could find
some good real information, but I can't.
Perhaps my favorite web site title is from the FDA site about formula,
says "Not the best, but good enough." I'm a big fan of good enough, if
is, so at
first I found the title of this web site encouraging.
But, sadly, I don't much trust the
FDA these days, either, as it appears that all government organizations
can be very influenced by money-making industries. Formula is
Is the FDA really uninfluenced by this? I have no idea. Makes me sound
a bit like a conspiracy believer, but, in some ways, the influence of
money on government IS a conspiracy. And I believe it. But that's an
entirely different rant. Nonetheless I find it difficult
to get information whose quality I trust and can assess
on the true effects of formula vs. breast-milk.
I will go on the assumption, however, that the FDA line is
approximately correct. Breast is best. Formula is OK. Is this really
true? I don't know.
Anyone who knows where to get good unbiased information please let me
Now, some history. Back when Diane became pregnant (about a year ago,
it was very clear that she was uncomfortable with the idea of breast
I, however, was quite adamant that formula is evil and babies should be
breast fed. I was smart enough, however, to not ever open my mouth.
say a word. I am sure that D. knew my opinion, but every time the issue
up I was quite supportive of whatever she wanted to do. Sneaky of me,
I know that D. is one of the few people in the world as stubborn as me
I fought it she would dig in her heels. Which she would have. But as
went on D. became more and more comfortable with the idea and by the
little Lilah came along she decided to go for it. I was elated. A month
or two into the entire thing Diane even sheepishly admitted that she
secretly enjoyed feeding the little beast. And, as slavishly detailed
on the red/green plots and the journal below, Diane fed and pumped, fed
pumped, I occasionally fed bottles, and Lilah grew from 7 lbs 7 ounces
current 13 lbs of fat and happy baby girl.
But Lilah's growth of 5 lbs and 9 ounces of fat happiness
were not without cost. One major cost
was the transformation of Diane from an actual person to a feeding
At almost any time day or night Diane needed to be precisely aware of
when L. was last fed, when she might next need to be fed, where they
were going to be at the time, and whether or not there was any time to
actually do something else. Lilah was also a slow feeder, so since
were about 45 minutes long and Lilah went about 2.5 hours between
feeds (still!), Diane has about an hour and 45 minute chunk of time
between feeds. Dinner? Try to feed L. while I make dinner, have dinner,
hang out for a bit, and feed L. again. Or the other way around where we
desperately attempt dinner before D. has to go feed for 45 minutes. We
got better at it, but for a while there were many dinners that Diane
to eat cold while I was doing dishes (and holding Lilah). Diane really
felt like she was a dairy cow on a short leash. Because, uh, she kinda
So there was a cost, but a cost we were willing to pay. Diane overall
liked the feeding, Lilah clearly liked it, we believed it was better
everyone involved. Lilah took bottles nicely, so we even had some
good flexibility where Diane could go away for a day or afternoon or
evening (at the price of pumping, which no one will ever tell you is
a pleasant experience). Overall a good setup.
After three months of figuring things out and working
pretty well, though, it was time for Diane to go back to work
full time two weeks ago. The plan was for D. to pump at work while I
daytime bottles. People do it. It works. I have never heard anyone who
it describe it as easy, but it definitely works. But it didn't work for
The people at Diane's work were supportive, I was supportive, Lilah was
supportive. But taking ~25 minutes every 2 or 2 1/2 hours while trying
supervise an office, answer phone calls, have meetings with outside
etc., turned out to be a bit nuts. Taking 1-2 hours out of the day made
difficult to actually get Diane's work done. On the other end of the
of course, I wanted Diane to actually come home at night (or,
at 3pm, which is when her official day was officially supposed to end,
she was officially only part time for October), both so I could perhaps
get a little work done myself and Lilah and I could see Diane now and
In the first week it was getting clear that Diane was not getting in
the pumping that she had hoped to get in. We had to go to the milk bank
freezer) to make sure Lilah got enough. As you can read below, we
decided to test out Lilah's formula tolerence just in case. Lilah was
The next week was even harder on Diane and I tried out two and then
and then four bottles of formula per day. Lilah is still fine.
And now, as detailed last night, we are quite quickly at 100% formula.
And OH FORMULA. Wow. Yes, it is probably not as good. Yes, Lilah will
not have all of those advantages that come from breast milk (except for
3 months that she got it). In fact, I can tell already that she does
appear to be nearly interested in those Baby Einstein CDs. But: WOW.
Imagine this: total feeding time per
day goes from something like 45 minutes x 7 times = 5 hours total
(interjection: FIVE HOURS OF FEEDING PER DAY!!!!! That was a big
chunk of Diane's ~18 waking hours!!!), and now, with formula, it is 10
minutes x 5 times a day. Maybe 6 times a day. That makes one hour.
And that one hour can be done by me, by Diane, by Daisy, maybe even
by the cats (well, ok, at least Patton. Ike is too fat to be bothered
get up to feed Lilah). That is huge huge huge huge huge huge huge huge
Huge. Ok, people, I understand the potential benefits and why there
is huge politcal pressure for breast feeding, but this is HUGE. In our
now much more complicated lives that we are trying to figure out Diane
now has something like 4 more hours per day. Working and feeding Lilah
are no longer incompatible. Diane sleeps more. In some ways we almost
stupid for not having done this before (ok, not really. we're both
that Lilah got 3 months of breast milk). So while I cannot track down
unbiased scientific evidence about the effect of formula on Lilah's
devlopment, I can indeed give you an assessment of the effect of
on our lives. First: it costs money. My guess is that a $23 can of
will last about 9 days (I think that's right. I don't have the can with
me right now to check). Second: her diapers smell worse. Not as bad as
will when she gets solids, but definitely worse (perhaps an improvement
though is that her new higher viscosity loads appear less likely to
Third: Soooo much less time involved in feeding. So much. And that is
great, predominantly for Diane. So great. Really great. Did I mention
times between feeding (see top plot). She averages about 3 1/2 hours
between feeds now. Very convenient. Fifth: I can take her out for the
day and just
carry a couple of loads of powder and not worry about carrying along
defrosting milk. I can carry extra just in case without worrying that I
am melting it. Also huge. I could even go away for a night with Lilah
if I wanted to. Diane can go off to a conference in Decemeber
that she would like to go to. L. and I will be fine. Sixth: Diane's
is now her own again. For a year she has had to limit caffeine and
wine, both of which she likes. She can now go hog wild.
With formula she could even shoot up
heroin if she wanted to (not that I would recommend that approach, but
wine, at least, is indeed recommended). Seventh: Diane is really really
looking forward to her body parts resuming their normal lives.
So the verdict, as far as I can determine, is this: formula good. I
knew enough to say why formula might not be good, but I don't. So now
is time to rant. And here is what I would like to rant about: use of
formula can make life for a woman who wants to work infinitely easier.
pumping is possible, but even the strongest proponents (at least
the ones who have actually
done it) will tell you how hard it is. For those whose lives are
significantly eased by formula, as ours were, formula is really the
thing that allows a woman to actually work. If Diane had to breast
feed because formula didn't exist or we were convinced it was bad
stuff, she simply could not do the job she currently does. Diane likes
and is happy doing it. Not that she doesn't have some angst about going
to work and leaving Lilah mostly with me and eventually with Daisy,
but she likes what she does enough that she would really like to do
I support that. So here is the rant: much effort is placed into making
women feel guilty about not breast feeding. Can we please stop that?
If it is true that formula is not as good as breast milk, can we
use our efforts to
put pressure on people to develop formula that IS as good as breast
or better)? That way all of those women out there who cannot breast
or chose not to or can't make it work with work will have an
is not simply "Not the best but good enough" but "Exactly the same".
Given that every single one of us was an infant at some point we all
a past stake in this issue. Many of us hope that we
perhaps have a future stake, too. Isn't
it better to put our efforts there rather than in making parents feel
guilty if they don't breast feed until the end of time?
OK. Enough ranting (really? is there ever enough ranting from Lilah's
dad?). What about Lilah??? She had her first all-formula day
yesterday, and she did just great. Five feedings. Evenly spaced. Nice
in between. Ahhhh Lilah. And finally, to top it off, she had her first
bedtime bottle of formula. I've worried that even though she has been
pretty easy going about all of this, when it came down to night time,
would want mom. Mom actually fed her her bottle and hung out with her,
but Lilah did a good job of going to sleep after the bottle. I feared
her 3 days in a row of sleeping through the night would dissipate. But
they didn't. She slept until 7am just like she should. (OK, well, she
up and cry out at around midnight, which is pretty unusual. It lasted
about 5 seconds. Diane never even heard it.) Today she gets to spend
day with Daisy (and Daisy's new improved tracking worksheet. with luck
I will get a better view of Lilah's day. I'll let you know tomorrow).
Day 102 (17 Oct 2005):
Ode to formula:
OK, it's not happening today. No odes.
Today is too much. Unbeknownst to me (or Diane or Lilah), yesterday was
day in Lilah's life. D. decided that that last feed, which unexpectedly
occured around 10:30pm (and was followed by a bottle), was the last.
Ever. Lilah will, from now on, get all of her substenance from other
thought today I was going to write an ode to formula where I railed
the politics of breast feeding and talked about how the purveyors of
guilt made it very difficult to come to informed decisions without
overwhelmed about potentially doing a bad thing, but it came down to
(and here I am about to reproduce my ode to formula) Diane could not
breast feed at the same time. Wasn't gonna happen. Nope. Not possible.
women can. Perhaps their jobs work out better for them. Perhaps they
a tad more saintly. I just don't know. But a simple fact is that
job and Diane's personality were incompatible with the pain-in-the-ass
that is pumping at work. So. That is it. Lilah is going to empty out
freezer, but other than that she is all done and she gets powdered
Ever since we started on breast feeding I always wondered how the very
would go. Would we say "this is it, last time" or would it just happen?
sort of thought there would be more deliberate ceremony. But today,
last night's feed, and a full day of not pumping, and an emergency
session at 6:30pm to relieve D.'s fullness (where D. got some sort of
substance little resembling the thick fatty milk she used to pump), we
had a quick talk and decided: done.
Done! Do you know what that means? D.'s body has basically not been
hers for a
year now. Everything ingested eventually went to Lilah. No more.
Tonight we opened a very nice bottle of wine and, rather than giving
her one glass (and, well, OK, usually finishing the rest of the bottle
myself), I poured her
a second. And topped it off when she was halfway done. Then I made
at our favorite restaurant for a wine and food pairing. That's right,
some sort of real life now resumes. We have a baby sitter for Friday
and we might even have to take a cab home from the restaurant. Not that
am yet doing my ode to formula, but I must say that the fact that Diane
approximately 3 hours more per day can't be bad. I approve. I would say
is quite liberating for her.
Nonetheless, all celebration aside. When we finally both realized that
it we were both sad. Diane has liked breast feeding, against all of her
expectation. And she missed having Lilah snuggled up next to her for
the day. And I just get sad at most anything these days. So we both
And then opened that bottle of Zinfandel. Mmmmmmmmmm.
So, perhaps, tomorrow I will do that ode to formula. Which is perhaps
most liberating invention for women ever, but for now let's all take a
and remember the absolute miracle of the fact that for 102 days
the Lilah ate or drank came through Diane and the ~5 hours a day that
sat with her, talking to her, singing to her, stroking her, making sure
she got the food and the comforting and the life that she needed.
Thanks Diane. I wish I could have helped more. You did a great job.
know that she appreciates it, but I definitely do.
Day 101 (16 Oct 2005):
OK, back to the story of last week. We're now to Thursday, which
another Daisy day. And, to everyone's surprise, Lilah sleeps through
the night for the first time in two weeks. Where did that come from?
She had given no indication whatsoever that she was back to increasing
her sleep times, but she went 9:30pm to 7am, which is awfully close
to being a record. Why? Dunno. Really I should correlate these things
with whether or not Diane had wine with dinner, huh? But I just can't
remember that night.
So, anyway, Thursday. We still have Daisy giving her the pumped milk
the freezer rather than the formula. Ostensibly this is so that I can
observe to make she Lilah doesn't have any bad reactions. But by this
I am pretty sure there aren't going to be any. So why make Daisy use
the frozen milk? The feeling that we >should< use it after Diane
spent time pumping it. And also the feeling that we should use it
because it is better
than the evil formula. And, oh wait, there is one more. Because the
breast milk is so much more difficult to deal with I'd rather have
do it. OK. I said it. So shoot me.
Thursday night, Friday morning? No late sleep. Last night was a fluke.
back to her 3am feeding. Why why why?
But then Friday night she sleeps all night. Saturday night she sleeps
all night.And now, finally, it is Sunday. What is going to happen? We
still haven't quite figured out the right pattern for the night for a
formula day. Does she still
need the two quick Diane-feedings before she goes to bed? As you can
still have mostly done it. And we'll try it again tonight. Balancing
different food sources with two very different timings is a tough
Tomorrow: an ode to formula.
Day 100 (15 Oct 2005):
Happy 100th day of your life Lilah! To celebrate this moment in
Lilah's life we have, once again, made the software even better. Best
of all, I can now type
these comments in the comfort of [wherever I happen to be with my
then transfer them and update the website with the press of a button.
No more fumbling around to actually get on the server or anything. So
exciting, at least for us here who care about these sorts of things
(that would be me. Lilah doesn't seem to be able to tell. Diane
continues to think that I am somewhat deranged).
With luck, the new ease of updating will make updating happen more
believe I have said those words before, huh? But really I think it is
true this time.
The week has been a momentous one in Lilah's 100 day old life. As
week ago, we have given up on Diane as the sole source of food for
Lilah. It's amazing how guilty poor Diane feels about this. In pressing
feeding so hard, many of the proponents have done a great job of
guilt on women who can't exclusively breast feed. We're even wary about
telling some of our friends for fear of that look of sadness in their
(though in reality this is likely completely unfair and everyone has
been quite understanding). For the record, however, I would like to
pumping breast milk at work is a tough job. If you have a job that is
scheduled and you can take regular time out then I could see how it
(though, still, I think it would be really really hard). If you have a
Diane's where people are in and out of the office all day long you
yourself at the end of the day with sore breasts and empty milk
that first week Lilah consumed about 20 more ounces of milk than Diane
and Diane still felt like she was pumping all of the time! (Luckily, we
some banked in the freezer).
On Sunday, therefore, we made the decision to attempt a bottle of
see how Lilah took it. What did Lilah do? gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp
She didn't seem to mind one bit (OH: and the pale blue lines now show
formula feeds, while dark blue is still milk-in-a-bottle. see that
first one a
week ago?). As predicted, Lilah drinks more formula at a time than
and then goes correspondingly longer between feeds. Notice that for the
time since Lilah's birth her daytime average is actually starting to
Other big change? Smellier diapers with a different consistency.
the consistency of cornmeal.
On Monday I decided to go for a few rounds of formula to see how Lilah
do. Keeping with the theme that she is the single most easy-going baby
constructed, she took it all fine, slept well, and was happy to see
Tuesday. Big big big big big day. Lilah got to meet Daisy who is going
care of her full time starting in November. For now she is going to
few days a week so Lilah can start to get used to her. It turns out
takes about 10 seconds to get used to people so this part is actually
neccessary, though it will take ME some getting used to to go back to
and leave Lilah at home. It was a sad Tuesday. Even more sad, however,
damage done to Lilah's data. Daisy didn't really keep quite the records
I do. Or even Diane does. So what really happened on Tuesday is a
mystery that I tried
to reconstruct from guessing Lilah's schedule and trying to get the
Daisy in half English half Spanish (sure do wish I knew Spanish! With
Lilah might be able to pick up some, at least). So Tuesday remains
Wednesday I had her back again. Note the careful recordings of
she was asleep and not. I do really feel like I have gotten the girls
figured out some. The big problem, though, is that we have been bad
about daytime sleep. Every single sleep she has is caused by something:
rocking, strolling, driving, feeding, something. Eventually the girlie
needs to be
able to figure out these things on her own.
More to come tomorrow....
Day 92 (7 October 2005): Week
one of Daddy-daycare has now
passed. How did the scheduling go? See for youself. Not bad, if you ask
me. I contend that this one week period has been the most consistent of
her life. Now Diane would suggest that consistently waking up around
4am is no big cause for celebration, but it is important to celebrate
the little victories.
The big news, though, is the new software (yee haa!) which now allows
me to track every moment of Lilah's life much more accurately. Change
has been slow. At first Lilah could only be either awake or asleep for
a whole feed. Then she could be both, but there was no accurate
charting of when those happened (all awake times were assumed to be at
the end of the feed, all asleep times right before a feed. this led to
the weird phenomenon where it looked like she was actually awake at
night sometimes when she was actually awake from 8am until 8:30am
before a feed. Now she can do whatever she wants. Witness today, for
example. She has an awake-asleep-awake, another awake-asleep-awake, and
then an asleep-fussy-asleep. Never before could such things be
recorded! We here at lilahbrown.com are very excited that Caltech
family leave allows Mike time to make such things happen. Oh and now
the blue bottle feedings do a better job of showing that these feedings
take only about 12 minutes, compared to Diane's 40 minute marathons.
Tomorrow we will discuss the dirty secret of pumping at work. For today
we will simply say: we survived the first week and only used 1 frozen
bottle of milk from the freezer. We have a weekend to catch back up.
Now is a good time to take bets on whether or not Lilah will be on
formula this time next week.
Someday we will perhaps fix the other main software oddity, which
is the day/night average on the top plot. "Night" officially starts at
8pm. And feed between 8pm and 7am counts as a night feed. So if Lilah
feeds at 8:10pm, 10:10pm, 7:40am her nighttime average is 11.5/2=5.75
hours. If, instead, she shifts 20 minutes earlier (7:50pm, 9:50pm,
7:20am) her official nighttime average would be 9.5 hours. Big
difference for a 20 minute shift, huh? Back when I wrote that part of
the software it didn't occur to me that single sleeps would dominate
the nighttime average (editors note: duh), so I didn't consider this
problem. Emily suggests that I simply plot the longest feed of the
night. Probably this is what I will do because I do anything Emily says.
Day 89 (4 October 2005): What
has happened to Lilah? She has
completely reverted back to night time feeds. We can see no cause
whatsoever for this, unless Lilah figured out that Diane was going back
to work [yesterday!] and started punishing her early. I don't get it.
Last week's pattern would have been so much nicer for Diane, who is now
getting up at 6am to pump some milk and then get to work It
would've been great to have not had to have awoken an hour earlier to
feed the little girlie thing. I guess if I were a good dad I would
volunteer to take the middle of the night shift, huh? Instead I am
going to go for the head-in-the-sand approach and hope Lilah goes back
to her fabulousness of last week.
So. At 88 days in her little life Lilah's mom has now gone back to work
full time (ok, she claims it is not full time and she will leave work
at 3pm everyday. Anyone willing to bet against me that she will not be
out of work at 3pm even one day this week? I'll give you a little
inside scoop: she got home yesterday at 8pm. OK, it was a special case
where she had a dinner event to attend. Nonetheless, do you care to bet
against me?). We have a nanny coming full time in November (Lilah and
Amy [remember pictures of Amy?]) will share. She will slowly transition
in this month, but in the meantime it is me me me all me!
So how did Day 1 of daddy-daycare go? Bad timing. We had a big press
annoucnement that day on the moon of the 10th planet, so the phone kept
ringing about it. Worse, I had to write a slew of proposals that were
due that day. Even worse, I had to finish the paper on said moon. If I
had had any operating brain cells I would have asked Diane to start
work one day later. But, instead, I delusionally thought I would be
able to finish up a few things. Which didn't happen. Luckily, Emily was
nice enough to come over to babysit Lilah while I finished up the last
proposal, otherwise it would have never gotten finished.
Now, finally, here at Day 2, things seem a little calmer. I'm not
trying to pretend to get work done. I'm just hanging out with Lilah and
(finally) updating her web site when she is asleep. My main goal for
the next month is to transition little Lilah onto some sort of
schedule. You will easily be able to see if I am successful or not on
her red/green plot. I want her to feed and nap at regular times.
Morning feed: 8:30am. Awake for a bit, then a nap before a 11:30am
feeding. Perhaps awake until a 2pm feeding and then a full nap until a
5pm feeding from Mom. That is my fantasy schedule. It's a bit of a
push, since she still averages something like 2.5 hours between daytime
feedings, so I don't know if it will fly. Plus if she reverts back to
~10 hour nighttime sleeps that means she will be getting a ~7am feeding
for her first, and my whole schedule goes to hell. Ok. So I guess the
idea is crazy. But that's my goal nonetheless.
Day 86 (1 October 2005): Crash!
Wow. Two nights in a row of
complete back sliding. First was Thursday night, where we thought we
would try to put Lilah to sleep at 7:50 PM (crazy, I know). She didn't
take, so we tried again around 9:30. She wasn't asleep but we put her
to bed anyway. Just like the other night, right? She'll cry a bit and
then peter out. There was no petering. Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry (I
think I forgot to record that as fussy. look for that time period to
become red when I revise history). Cry cry cry. Finally D. went back to
feeed her at 10:50pm, which I believe is the latest feeding in FIVE
WEEKS. Lilah then slept an entire 5 hours. There was a time in life
when we would have been grateful for 5 hours. Thursday night was not
one of those times. It was almost unbelievable to hear her crying in
the middle of the night. It had been a whole week, which is like a 16
months in parent-years. As I struggled heroically to ignore the sounds
Diane got up and fed Lilah. I think. I was asleep through it all. But
acording to Diane she was quite tired in the morning. Bad news for
Diane's Monday 8am back to work schedule, don't you think.
Then, of course, we had last night. Much better night. She had a bath
and a nice 8:45 last feeding and went straight down. But then started
crying at 4:45am. Which is only 8 hours. OK. So I feel a bit guilty
complaining about "only" 8 hours, but, again, Lilah had been going
strong for a week and we just hadn't expected such a crash. Sign.
Tonight? Seems like a good night. She had a last feeding at 9:25. Will
she go 10 hours until 7:25? 5 hours until 2:25? Somewhere in between? I
used to think I knew. Now Lilah is back to being a girly mystery, as
(29 September 2005): Lilah is on a roll! New record! 9pm until
7:25am! (that is 10:25 if the math is too hard for you planetary
science types out there). This is going to be so helpful starting on
MONDAY when Diane goes back to work fullish time and Lilah is taken
care of by.... me. OK, so I am a little terrified by this but I keep up
the good bravado when Diane is around so she doesn't worry. I get the
whole month of October. Hope I survive. Hope Lilah survives. Hope she
Given that Lilah is now 12 weeks old, that Diane is going back to work,
and that life remains the same crazy thing it always does, I think it
is now time to try to get little Lilah to face reality and start on
some sort of a schedule. We'd like her to get her last feeding at 8pm
(well, OK, not tonight, since it IS the season premiere of Alias and D.
and I must find out what happened after the car wreck that ended the
last season, of course). And then wake at 8am? Maybe we will eventually
slide that back an hour? Diane needs to be at work at 8am (sometimes 7)
and is kinda sad to think that she wouldn't see Lilah at all in the
morning. So maybe 7am. The weird thing to think is that in November,
when we start nanny-sharing, Lilah will probably indeed be sleeping 7-7
more or less, which means that I will see her awake maybe an hour or
two a day at most. I think I am going to miss her. That seems
OK, but enough sadness for now (Lilah is even someday going to grow up
and move away), and let's just celebrate that on Day 84 Lilah broke all
records again. She really is alien spawn.
(27 September 2005): And the answer is..... you should have
taken that bet below. Lilah went form 8:45pm until 6:20am. And,
remarkably, here at 9:20AM she is still sound asleep, too. So a 9
1/2 hour sleep followed by 3 hours and counting. Just truly amazing. We
do actually have one winner! Sarah bet 5:30, just to sneak in after my
5am time. She wins the Lilah-prize-of-the-day, which is a generous
helping of spit-up from Lilah herself delivered directly onto your
shoulder. But you have to come visit to collect your prize.
As remarkable as all of this is, a much much more important event in
Lilah's sleep life happened yesterday. After Diane fed her at 8:45 she
was not asleep. We have generally fallen into the bad habit of putting
her to sleep at night while feeding, so if she is not asleep after
feeding we assume she will not go to sleep. In contrast, we always hear
stories about ~3 month olds who don't sleep well and their parents
start down the excruciating path of letting them cry themselves to
sleep at night. We have always been happy not to do that. But last
night, as it got to be 10PM, I declared that it was Lilah's bed time no
matter what. So I put her down wide awake. Not surprisingly, she cried.
Not hard crying, just her little "hey this is not so good you know and
i'd like to be doing something else" cry. After about 5 minutes I went
in a stroked her head for a bit and reminded her that she was sleepy
(and I got a nice yawn for my actions). But then she went back to
crying. I told Diane to time me and not let me go in for a full 5
minutes again. But before 5 minutes had passed Lilah was sound asleep.
So our first attempt at the horrible crying to sleep was about 9
minutes of light fussing and then 9 1/2 hours of sleeping (though we
both were quite worried that Lilah would be waking up at midnight or
something!). I would like to reiterate what I said a few days back.
Lilah is not normal. An alien, perhaps. This is all just too easy. When
does the hard part start?
encore: A special update for our favorite lilahbrown.com
readers. You know who you are (the ones who complain when we don't
update frequently enough). Today is a big experiment. Lilah really
should have been fed at ~8 and then at ~10 before bed but we stretched
her until ~8:20 and then gave her a bath and Diane is feeding her RIGHT
NOW in hopes that that is it for the night. She needs to start sleeping
earlier, we think. One week from today Diane goes back to work. Those five
words should instill fear in everyone's hearts. Or at least mine. And
when Diane goes back to work
it is also true that Diane wakes up
early in the morning. Which means that Lilah would be better off
waking up at ~6:30. So if she is to sleep 10 hours perhaps she should
get an 8:30pm feeding for her end-of-night. That's at least the logic
Isn't it amazing, though, that her long-standing habit of a ~4am
feeding just sort of disappeared 8 days ago? She has had ~2 relapses,
also associated with tough travel days, but other than that she seems
to have given up on the idea of waking up at night. At least for now.
We'll see what happens tomorrow. She got an 8:45 pm feed. Will she go
10 hours until 6:45? Only 8 hours until 4:45 (only eight? isn't it just
amazing that we can even say "only" eight?). Four days ago she even had
a seven hour sleep, which would make 3:45. That would definitely count
as a middle-of-night feed. My bet is for the 5am feed. What will it be?
Place your bets. Any bets received at lilahbrown.com before the data
are posted are accepted. Closest to the mark wins the bet.
Technical note: we got a question today about why the mouse-over
average plot something seems weird. It is because of how we define
daytime and nighttime feedings. Any feeding that occurs between 7am and
8pm is daytime. Otherwise nighttime. So if Lilah gets fed at 8:05pm and
10:pm and 8am, she has an average nighttime time of 5 hours. But if she
instead had done it all ten minutes earlier: 7:55, 9:50, 7:50, she
would average 10 hours instead. Stupid, I know. At the time I wrote the
software we didn't really have these issues so much, since there wasn't
one big long sleep to screw with the average. We never anticipated that
Lilah's sleep patterns would develop as they did. We thought that her
night time sleeps would each get longer, not that there would be one
single one that got longer. I must say, for Lilah's sake, that this way
really is much better for everyone involved.
Day 81 (26 September 2005):
It's a red letter day! She did it, she did it, she did it, she
did it!!!!! Lilah was fed at 9:30pm last night. She woke up at 7:30 am
this morning. That equals 10 hours in a row. Look at that plot! Simply
amazing! What a good girl we have! Hurray Lilah! Hurray hurray
hurray hurray! Diane actually woke up around 7am, having slept a full
night. This is the first night in 81 days when she wasn't first
awakened by Lilah. Did I say hurray yet?
An interesting note, though. We decided yesterday that we wanted to try
to move her last feeding earlier. As mentioned a week ago or so, it
appears that Lilah takes her cues on bed time from us and the fact that
the house quiets down. At least it was clear that when the house was
NOT quiet she wouldn't go to sleep. So we thought we would try the
other end of the experiement last night. At 8pm we turned out all of
the lights and turned off the music and Diane fed her and.... she
stayed wide awake. No way she was going to go to sleep. So we hung out
for an hour and a half and got her at 9:30pm at which point -- have I
mentioned this yet? -- she stayed down for 10 hours. In a row. All at
once. Without waking up. Wow.
71-80 (16 - 25 Sep 2005): The long awaited update is here!
Questions to be answered: Does Lilah miss me when she is away for a
week? Can she sleep as well elsewhere as at home? Will Diane remember
to keep records when I am gone? Will she take a Thursday picture for
me? Answers to all will now be revealed!
First, of course Lilah
missed me. She shows it by the fact that she sleeps so well when I am
away. She had record after record after record last week, coming
dangerously close to the mythical 10 hour mark. In fact, her increase
in sleep time has been a nice linear function since about day 30. I
think I can reasonably extrapolate that by Day 120 she will be going 24
hours between feedings. By age 2 1/2 she will go a week between
feedings. This is really going to cut down on the food bills, I think.
The single most important sleep-related item, however, is the way Lilah
appears to be dropping her middle of the night feeding. She's been
getting fed a bit late, but has then stretched this to almost the
morning. Last night (finally home) Lilah went from a 10pm feeding until
a 7:15am awaking. I think this makes the first night in 80 days that
Diane has not had to get up in the middle of the night (actually, add
in at least 2 months pre-Lilah when she had to get up every night from
all of the extra Lilah-pressure on the bladder, too). A close second is
that she had her first series of six-feed days. Six feeds! That makes
only about 4 hours a day for Diane. Not even a full time job anymore!
I still find it amazing that her daytime sleep patterns have not
changed one whit since birth.
Lilah was apparently also angelic on her first airplane trip. She
didn't fuss, didn't cry. She slept the whole way up, and was awake and
talkative the whole way back.
Warning to anyone reading this in hopes of learning what babies are
like: as far as we can determine, real babies are not like this at all.
I believe we have been sent some sort of robotic fake that is designed
to lure us into convincing people that babies are easy. From all
accounts of other people, this is simply not true. You have been warned.
- 70 (10 Sep - 15 Sep 2005): Greetings, Lilah fans. What a way
to leave lilahbrown.com hanging for almost a week. I have received
desperate emails from people needing their Lilah updates, and I really
really apologize for how long it has been, but the week has been
crazed. Blame the 10th planet once again. Oh and the Discovery Channel.
Details to follow. But back to Lilah, her first road trip, and several
important records and milestones (including this, her 10th week
Thursday! Pictures to be posted soon, I promise).
So. Saturday Diane, Lilah, and I were to get up and drive to Paso
Robles for a little wine tasting, road biking, hot tubbing, hanging out
kind of weekend. The drive is a little more than 3 hours so we
suspected we might have to stop in the middle to feed her. The plan was
to leave after her 10am ish feeding. But packing and entertaining Lilah
at the same time turned out to be difficult and in the end we blew past
the morning feeding, realized it was about lunch time, gave Lilah
another feeding, and finally left. At which point Lilah slept and slept
and slept. Isn't it a gift from the gods that babies like cars? Look
carefully on Day 65 and you will see her with a record daytime sleep.
She woke up screaming-hungry about 10 minutes outside of Paso Robles.
Rather than try to get to town and check in to our hotel we stopped at
the first winery, Diane fed, and I went in and tasted wine. I felt a
little guilty. But I got over it. D&L came in 40 minutes later and
I could have them try the particularly good ones.
That night we got to answer one of the questions I posed a few days
back: how does L. know it is bed time. Is it an internal clock, or the
external clues we give her (turning out lights, turning off music,
feeding her tranquilizers...)? That night she got a 9pm feeding, like
usual, but we were hanging out with our friends in their room stilll. L
stayed wide awake until 10:30 when we got back to our room and turned
out the lights. I know this was not a controlled experiement, so
perhaps sometime I will design an entire experimental protocol for her
to test this. Again, I would like to point out that advantages of the
fact that Diane does not, in general, read these musings.
She slept OK in her first new place, but did wake up earlier than
usual. Or perhaps we heard her awake earlier than usual since she was
in the same room as us. Note to self: next time, ear plugs.
Sunday was a beautiful crisp autumn like day in the foothills and I
went off for a long rolling bike ride on oak-covered country roads.
D&L got up, had a fine breakfast, and wandered around Paso Robles's
downtown park. Ahhhh. A beautiful morning. The afternoon included a
trip over to the coast for L's for ocean view (she never actually
opened her eyes), and we took a beautiful winding road back. We were so
happy that L seemed to sleep so well in the car that we over did it and
ended up having to high tail it home when she starting shreaking in
hunger 20 minutes outside town. The car is great for having her sleep,
but when she does wake up she is really really really really really
Sunday night we thought we might have dinner with our friends and their
2 year old, Jack, when we suddenly made the realization that having two
children is likely an impossible juggling task. Just when we would have
been perhaps going to dinner, Lilah needed feeding. By the time she was
finally done it was time for Jack to go to bed, so our friends could no
longer go out. We went to a restaurant ourselves and barely made it
back in time to feed Lilah again. OK, so we could deal with two kids as
long as we had four adults around to figure things out. But imagine if
the teams were even. Or worse, you were outnumbered. I suspect it
simply wouldn't work. My hypothesis appears to be nullified by the
observation that many people do, in fact, have more than one child,
but, like any good scientist, I am willing to disregard all data which
doesn't fit my preconceptions. I will declare it Mike Brown's First
Law: It is not possible to survive if you have more than one child,
thus all children with living parents are only children.
Monday morning we got up bright and early as I had to get back home to
film a commercial for the Discovery Channel. Those who know me even
moderately well should try very hard to see this commercial when it
comes out if they want a good laugh. First: I am on a golf course [I
hate golf]. Second: I am wearing golf clothes [no comment neccessary].
Third: I am shown hitting a golf ball [I had a stand in for the actual
swing] Fourth: My first line in the commercial is "I'm good at finding
things." [I can't decide who would find that line funnier, my
mother or Diane. When D & I got married my mother made a little
speach at the rehearsal dinner saying something to the effect that she
couldn't understand how someone who could find planets couldn't find
his own shoes and that it was now Diane's job to find my shoes when I
couldn't. My mother was, of course, 100% correct]. OK. But back to
Lilah. Since we knew that we would not have time to stop and feed Lilah
we brought a bottle in the car with us for a freeway feed. But, once
again, she slept the whole way (D. fed her in the parking lot of the
golf course at Griffith Park while I tried on orange (orange!) golf
It was nice to get home that day, though. Lilah quickly fell back to
her typical sleep patterns including yet another night-time record of 8
hours! It is hard to describe just how fabulous that is. Go Lilah, go.
I just absolutely love to look at her plot above and see the slow
steady progress towards the day when she will sleep 24 hours.
This week D. is now back at work ~30% time and so I go to the office
and we do Lilah trade-offs back and forth during the day (D. works
directly across the street from me which is about the coolest thing on
the planet, if you must ask). Lilah has many friends who are happy when
she comes to visit my office. Mostly Emily and Irma, who can never
resist coming by when Lilah is in the room. Lilah does not appear to
mind one bit, and is, these days a happy smiley talkative baby who
loves being held and interacting with many people in addition to Mom
Now it's late and I'm not going to get Lilah's thursday picture posted.
Tomorrow, I promise. And then Saturday it is the big trip and there
won't be updates for the week. But you are getting used to that now,
are you not, Lilah fans?
(9 Sep 2005): At the end of Lilah's vaccination day we made the
mistake of having scheduled a dinner out with Lilah to be babysat by
her aunt and cousins. We initially felt horrible. What if she gets a
fever (1 in 4 according to the vaccine info sheet)? What if she screams
uncontrollably (also 1 in 4)? Has seizures (1 in many many many)? And
here we were going off to have dinner with friends. Clearly we were bad
uncaring parents. When we finally picked Lilah up after 9pm she was
sound asleep in Brianna's arms and had been fine all night long. We got
home, Diane topped her off with a 10pm feeding and she was out almost
Tomorrow is another big day for Lilah: her first roadtrip. D. and I
decided to join some friends for a weekend up in Paso Robles to drink
wine and sit in hot springs and (for me, at least) go on beautiful road
bike rides along rolling oak covered country roads. And then drink more
wine. We're off on Saturday morning and not back until Monday. So no
Lilahbrown updates for a bit! But then a big report on how the little
girl did sleeping away from home for the furst time. This is a warm up
trip for a week from tomorrow when Lilah and D. fly up to Washington
State to visit D.'s mother for a week and I go off to Hawaii to observe
that planet thing. There will be no updates for a WEEK. At least no
data. Maybe I'll get phone updates from D. and write those down.
(8 Sep 2005): Today has been the saddest day in Lilah's short
life. She went to the doctor this afternoon and we didn't get the
feeding schedule down very well so by the time the doctor came in (1hr
after our appointment) poor Lilah was starving and whimpering.
Whimpering would have been wailing except that I was bouncing around
the exam room for about an hour. But all of this was the build up for
one of the worst things that can happen to a two month old: first
vaccines. Everyone warned me that they were a horrible thing, but until
the day before, when talking to a friend, I never quite got it. I
thought "OK, she gets poked with a needle and momentarily hurts, what's
the big deal?" And then I realized it was FOUR needles in a row. And I
had to hold her and try to convince her everything was OK even though I
knew there were three more needles to come and everything was NOT OK. I
tried to explain about how it was a short term pain for a long term
good, but she was too busy screaming to hear. We then got back to the
car and Diane fed her to calm her down while I read the vaccine info
sheets they gave us. Even as someone who 100% knows that vaccines are a
good thing the info sheets are a little scary with the effects that can
happen. I know I know it is one in a million or something and much less
than the chance she would get the horrible disease, but there is
something difficult about doing something active that has a risk to
protect against a passive danger. Even though, again, I know it is the
100% right thing to do. It makes me a bit more amazed that most
everybody really does it. The power of societal persuasion is good.
Plus the fact they won't let you enroll your kids in school, I guess.
(7 Sep 2005): Lilah is celebrating her two month birthday with
a brand new record! She went from 9:50pm until 5:35am in one shot,
coming dangerously close to the legendary 8 hour mark. When she awoke
at 5:35am Diane had a hard time keeping her awake long enough to get a
full feed in. The debate of the day is whether or not this is a good
thing. D's instinct is to wake her up enough to get a full feeding
("I'm awake, damnit, you be awake, too") and I am wondering if perhaps
a light feeding prepares her to skip that feed entirely and hit my 9pm
- 7am mark. I know this is perhaps too much to ask, but one can't help
but dream big, right?
Her daytimes are still mysterious to me, though. Some days she is
mostly awake (yesterday). Some days she is mostly asleep (last Friday).
I can find no pattern. Most days she has on long nap before noon (but
not always), but her afternoons are unpredictable. She's almost always
awake from about 7pm until about 9pm. Except when she is not. Someday I
willl figure out what it all means, I am sure.
(6 Sep 2005): At the risk of calling down the jinx (and, now,
for a minute, I must digress on why it is that I am always worried
about the jinx. I think that people who are unusually affected by
random events are more superstitious than most. As an astronomer I am
at the mercy of the weather ever time I fly of to use a telescope for a
few nights, so I develop complex superstition about why one night was
clear and the next was cloudy. And you always talk like it is going to
be cloudy so as not to be jinxed. I suspect other people affected by
weather -- sailors, farmers, house builders -- all have their own
mythologies. And probably also true for other areas with highly random
components -- the stock market?). OK. To start again. At the risk of
calling down the jinx, I would like to declare that today, on September
6th 2005, one day before Lilah's two month birthday, we believe we have
her night times down. For two weeks now she has been pretty consistent
with even a hint of going towards longer. Compared to back at the
begining when we were 2.5 hours relentlessly this current phase is
heavenly. Lilah tends to wake up around 7am, more or less, I go over to
her crib and talk softly to her, she turns her head and smiles, we walk
around the house a bit until she is hungry (which generally happens
quickly) then we go visit the still sleeping Diane. Lilah gets very
very excited to see Diane and smiles and squirms.
The evenings are equally good. Around 9pm I give her one last change
and kiss her goodnight and as Diane begins to feed I go around and turn
the lights in the house out. Somehow she knows that this means to sleep
for a long time and she does it.
Now, mind you, I am not suggesting that we have the whole thing figured
out. In particular I can find no rhyme or reason for Lilah's daytimes.
Why was she awake so much yesterday? And asleep most of the a few days
back? Shouldn't these differences affect her night times? So far they
don't seem to. But so far my whole theory that Lilah is a two-nap-a-day
girl is mostly hogwash.
(5 Sep 2005): As promised, I turned the red/green plot sideways
for Diane. Much nicer now, you think? Now that there is more space, you
can see exactly what she did two days ago, which was to have one of her
I-don't-really-want-to-be-bottle-fed fits. D. tried to run to the store
(for diapers, of course) and left me with an asleep L. and a stop
watch. We thought it would work, but Lilah woke up early and couldn't
be fooled with a finger to suck on. She wanted the real thing. The
bottle calmed her down for about 30 minutes but then her porr face just
turned redder and redder and tears rolled down her poor little cheeks
until Mom came home and fed her. All the while I continued trying to
entice her with the contents of the bottle (of which she only drank
1/3) but she was too busy complaining that mom was not here.
The lack-of-mom led to her longest fussy session in a long time (even
after mom came back and fed her) but then, after a 9pm feed, she stayed
put until nearly 5am. That is almost 8 hours! Or a full night, in adult
hours. I wonder if this is the next pattern that will soon be starting.
You can look back over her feed chart and see each jump in her night
pattern, from her 5 hour stints starting on day 30, to her 6 hour jump
starting around day 40 to her 2 long stints for the night starting
around day 50. Maybe the 2 long stints will meld into a single 10 hour
stint? Wow. The day that she first gets fed around 9pm and then awakens
after 7am then next day will be a day of celebration here at
But it wasn't last night. You can also see that she was out quite late
to a party. She finally got home and got fed at 10pm, which is her
latest feed in a couple of weeks. And then she stayed asleep until
almost 8am (with the requisite 4:15am feeding, of course).
(2 Sep 2005):
Those of you who are superstitious will be happy
to know that as soon as I declared Lilah predictable she began to act
up. In fact, she began to act up even as I was typing the words. Her
nice long 10 hour pattern mentioned below instantly became an 8 hour
pattern (i.e. 5+3=8 instead of 6+4=10). Not sure the cause here. Not
sure there IS a cause here, other than just because.
Yesterday Lilah was 8 weeks old and to celebrate I stole her for the
day (note all of the bottle feedings!). The day before she had hardly
napped so Diane was a bit exhausted and needed a break. So what did
Lilah do? Slept all day, including a record or near record daytime 4
hour stint. It would have been a record for certain except that we woke
her up worried that she was going to sleep too much during the day and
then not at night. We woke her up, fed her, she went right back to
sleep. Oh oh. She's been swinging toward earlier start-of-the-night
feeds the last few days, which inexorably leads to earlier
end-of-the-night feeds. Note the 5:30am start this morning. I don't
think Diane is a big fan of that. I think we need to target a 9:30
feeding and see how it goes from there. Which means we need to target a
7:30 feeding. Etc. Etc.
On a final note, check out Lilah's Thursday
. Do you think she knows I'm taking pictures?
55 (31 Aug 2005):
For those that are fascinating by
Lilah's sleep patterns (you know who you are. In fact, if you are
reading this right now you really know who you are) last night was an
For several days now Lilah has consistently had a ~6-7 hour stint
by a ~3 hour stint. So when she cried last night at 2:30am I thought
this is going to mean a 5:30 am waking." Let's be clear that this would
mean a 5:30 am waking for Diane, not me, who has become exempted (at
least for now)
from night time feedings some time in the past 10 days. But, lo, Lilah
wake at 5:30 or even 6:30. Her feed was 7:30! Meaning she went 5 hours
then 5 hours. For those who are fans of the Lilah correlation plot (you
you are) you will know that she has never ever ever done that before.
Some interesting and sophisticated analysis suggests that 7+3=10 AND
meaning that for some reason she chose to go 10 hours with one feed one
or another. Isn't that fascinating?
I know I have been harping on this fact incessently, but I would like
to look carefully at the feed time plot above and marvel at the way
semi-regular pattern has emerged from complete chaos (and, by the way,
on Lilah, who is indeed exceptional in all ways, she has not had a
fussy spell in DAYS. Actually, since my mother left. Hmmmmm). No don't
get me wrong; this
semi-regular pattern is not without some prodding by us. Now that we
that she always has a ~2 hour stint before her long sleep, we try to
feed her between 7 and 8pm so that we can then tank her up between 9
and 10 and
she is off to dreamland (a friend of mine answered the obvious question
well the other day. What do babies dream of? Breasts, of course). She
been regularly waking up to be fed around 3:30am and then gets her
breakfast around 7 am. This pattern has held pretty well for more than
now, which is like 2 months in dog years or 1/8th of a lifetime in
Friends warn us to not become complacent, that Lilah is simply lulling
believing that we know something and that soon teething will begin and
sleep patterns will be destoyed in the name of enamel.. We say: bring
it on, Lilah. Teethe all you want. We'll graph it, analyze it,
run spurious statistical tests, and over interpret it. But for now we
will enjoy understanding at least a little how our mornings and evening
likely to play out.
We have a special guest contributor to these comments. Lilah! Here is
attempt at typing:
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmplojukngt hbgfffffbvg vc vvvvvvvvvcfjhb5riujgl;kbv
We completely agree.
54 (30 Aug 2005):
It is clear that I am a bad father who
neglects his daughter['s web site]. I have several excuses. First, I
was finishing up that long over due paper on that planet thing
. It's done.
Whew. I wish that I hadn't had to be working on this so much the past
month, but now I can return a little more seriously to family leave
instead of leaving my family. The second excuse is interesting, though.
It is because of that boring predictability I talked about a few days
ago. What can I say of interest night after night after night now?
Lilah did a six hour stint again blah blah blah blah blah. Isn't this
monotonoy just the best thing ever? Look at her feed plot: for days now
she has had a final feed of the day around ~9pm, she's slept until
~3:30am, and she's woken up again at ~7am. This is a pattern we could
get used to. The last time she had more than one real feed in the
course of a night was something like day 39. DAY 38! That was forever
ago. I guess that eventually Lilah will even forgo that
middle-of-the-night feed, too, and on that day I will look back and say
"can you believe that back on Day 54 I thought it was fabulous that she
only got up once during the night?" Perhaps one of the most irritating
things that everyone says to new parents is "they change so fast." I'm
here to tell you that after 30 days of not sleeping they definitely
don't change fast enough. But by Day 54 as things get day-to-day easier
it is easy to look back and think "wow, things sure do change fast."
Soon I will be finding people with 3 week old babies at Peet's coffee
and telling them to hang on tight, because things really do change oh
My new obsession is naps. Lilah is becoming somewhat of a two-nap-a-day
girl. This fact is going to require a change (long feared) in data
Discovery of the week: babies float! I never really though about it
before. But it is true. If the bath water is too deep they bob up and
(26 Aug 2005): Poor Lilah blew her average last night. Although
she had one of her now boringly predictable 6 hour stints last night
(and, by the way, hurray for boring predictability!), she started it
with a 45 minute one. That one was also predictable: I attempted a
bottle after we had been out to dinner with friends and she was just
completely uninterested. She finished half (though I think most of it
ended up on her shirt), went to sleep, and woke up in 20 minutes
wailing. Diane came to rescue with the Real Deal[s] and it was lights
out for the night. Lesson learned.
Big milestone! A dedicated Lilah watcher noticed that Lilah had her
first-ever 7 feed day the other day! Can't believe I missed that one.
She would have had another yesterday without that 45 minute interlude.
Diane complains that the green/red plot is getting too cramped for her
overtired eyes. Look for changes soon.....
(25 Aug 2005):
Sorry for the missed update yesterday, Lilah
fans, but Lilah herself was to blame. The last few nights she had been
sleeping well (6-7 hours at a shot!) but she had been drifting ~1 hour
earlier each night. So on Tuesday night she was fed at 6:30, hung out
for a while while I made dinner, and then she feel asleep in her chair
about 8:00. And the she wouldn't wake up. Diane tried a force feeding
at 9:30 but Lilah was a mere sack of sugar. She slept for a long time:
almost 2am! But at that point we figured Diane needed to feed her or
explode, so she got no bottle (notice very few nighttime bottles these
days?). She then did her typical 3 hour post long sleep, which brought
her to 5am. Diane frequently gets up after these morning feedings, but
this one was early enough that she crawled back to sleep exhausted.
When Lilah started making awake sounds at 6:30 I went and got her and
hung out for the morning. When we hang out these days she really needs
interaction, so typing in data into my laptop doesn't really happen.
Thus, no update. And these days I regret to admit that I am going to
work around ~10am each day to work on this paper about the 10th planet
that is sadly overdue. So no updates during the day.
Last night we were prepared for her craziness. D. fed her at about 7pm
and we did not let her doze off. I carried her around and talked to her
and made dinner and every time her little eyes would begin to close we
would go do something else. I think this counts as the first concrete
attempt to exert control over her sleep patterns, At 9pm Lilah was
still awake and she was hungry. She ate, she was out until 3:30am.
Ahhhhhhhhh. We'll see what sorts of tricks she has in store for us
Now, I've been thinking alot about Lilah's daytimes these days.
Ever since about Day 40 she has really done amazingly well at night. I
guess it is reasonable to assume that means she will be awake more in
the day. The second plot seems to bear that out. As I mused a few days
back, it is getting to be time to chart nap times instead of awake
times. Yesterday, for example, she really could have been considered to
have taken a morning nap and an afternoon nap and been awake the rest
of the time. She is ready for the transition, it seems, so I believe it
is time for her parents to make the transition, too.
On a final note, Lilah is so amazingly interactive and smiley
these days. All of the behavioral
are a delight. She is starting to grasp things. She turns her head
toward you when you come into her room in the morning. I think all of
the wailing (which is indeed continuing) must be somehow related to all
of the rest of the changes going on. I'll take it.
(23 Aug 2005): Strange night last night. After Lilah's wailing
fits she became exhausted and finally feel asleep after her 8:30 feed.
We decided that 8:30 is too early for a last feed of the night so by
10:30 we tried, for the first time ever, to wake her up to feed her.
Better luck waking someone under general anesthesia. We gave up,
assuming we would be in for a disaster of a night. At 3:30 Lilah
finally started making sounds and Diane turned to me and said "have you
fed her yet?" "Nope, you?" And with that Lilah hit yet another record
sleep. What is our hypothesis regarding all of this craziness of the
past two days: none.
(22 Aug 2005): Back at the begining, on about day 13, when I
first started making this plot, Lilah was a feed/sleep machine with an
occasional awake periods during the day, which always came as a
surprise. She then spent a while with little pattern at all and some
sleeps, some grumps, some awakes. But I think (mind you, with no good
statistically supporting data) that things are changing once again.
Presumably at some point in life one begins to be awake most of the day
and takes naps. Three or two or eventually one. Is that more likely to
be what is going on these days? For now, between feedings, we still ask
ourselves "I wonder if Lilah will be awake" but I think soon we will
say "I wonder if she will nap now."
In the meantime, I think she is going through the
transition and it is hard. Today she has been more consistently fussy
during the daytime than ever, seemingly like she wants to be awake but
is tired but can't sleep but doesn't know what to do about it. We'll
see what kind of sleep that leads to tonight....
On a final note, though, I can't not mention once
again what a relief these long sleeps are at night. I know that back at
day 21 or so I was convinced we would never ever sleep again, but now
we are nearing something like normal amounts of sleep. And Lilah is
something like predictable. Except when she's not.
A rare midday update: Now
don't get me wrong. I chart Lilah as awake sometimes and fussy
sometimes, but, in general, I think that Lilah is one of the easier
babies around. She mostly only cries when she needs to be fed, and she
is often awake and content. So it has been difficult to figure out what
is going on today. If there were a brighter shade of red available I
would be using it. Usually when I call her "fussy" it means that she
would be crying if someone weren't interacting with her. But we
interact with her and she doesn't cry. Until today. Today has been a
long sequence of wailing for no apparent reason and with no apparent
way to appease her. It's a first in her little 46-day-old life. It sure
would make life easier if she would just tell us what is going on. Or
even send email. Trying to discern meaning out of wailing is tough for
me, though Diane is working hard at it. Stay tuned to see if we can
figure out the translation.
(21 Aug 2005):
Notice how much Lilah was awake during the
day yesterday? Poor little thing is exhausted today, I think. But it
was nice that she got to spend a few days with Grandma & Grandpa
before they went back to Alabama. And she had a very nice (and early)
night's sleep. It's interesting to look at the time-of-day plot above
and see what time she goes down for her power sleep (look for the
highest black line on each day and that is the last pre-midnight feed).
Last night was definitely one of the earlier (though certainly not the
An interesting sleep note. Does anyone ever look at
the sleep correlation plot over on "Is
" Like the plots above, that one updates daily.
Back when I first plotted it (Aug 8th) there was nothing that resembled
any sort of pattern. Now the nighttime pattern is amazingly
clear. Before her 4 1/2 hour or longer power sleeps at night she
always has a less than two hour cycle. Must be stocking up. And after
her power sleeps she always has a 2 1/2 - 3 hour cycle (with the
exception of that crazy 45 minute one a few days ago. Best we forget
that whole experience, OK?). This pattern in the data is so good that
we have come to count on it now. We can now more or less routinely
figure out which is her last feed of the day and we can guess that a ~5
hour is coming on, to be followed by a ~3 hour. Actually makes the
nighttime a little easier to plan these days. Thanks Lilah! Those
believing in jinxes will be eagerly awaiting Lilah completely changing
her pattern tonight simply to spite me.
(20 Aug 2005):
We performed an interesting (though inadvertent) experiment yesterday.
Grandma-from-Alabama was so excited to finally get to spend time with
Lilah that she interacted with her almost continuously. Notice all of
awake periods yesterday? Everyone kept saying "wow, she sure will sleep
well tonight." To which I said "hmmmmm" (I often say "hmmmmm"). The
run of our experiment suggests that keeping her up all day does not
to better sleep at night, and, in fact, had the opposite effect. That
leads me to ponder: is there any correlation between number of hours
during the day and the longest sleep at night? I might have to plot
that one up soon.
On a secondary note, it is interesting that I now feel disappointment
Lilah's longest stint last night was only 4 1/2 hours. Two weeks ago I
have thought that was a gift from heaven.
(19 Aug 2005):
We seem to have hit a nice little sleep pattern
at night, haven't we? Now in the evenings we even pretend to be able to
predict what is going to happen next. Must mean it is time for a growth
Diane and I still have the 2am rule. Before 2am I do a bottle. After
2am D. feeds away. Good ole sleepy Lilah has let me sleep all night for
the past 2 nights. I must admit I feel a little guilty. Maybe we'll
have to switch to a 3am rule, instead.
Big day for Lilah: she gets to have dinner with all of her grandparents
(18 Aug 2005): Six weeks old today! D. is planning on going
back to work after 3 months and I reminded her today that she is
halfway. It seems crazy to us to think of leaving poor little Lilah.
But we know the cats will take good care of her during the day.
On to the sleep: Since about day 30 Lilah really has been doing her
best to have something like a regular sleep pattern. She'll have a
couple of quick feeds in the evening and then be out 5 or 6 or 7 hours
and then wake up again around 5 or 6 or 7 am. Not too bad.
(17 Aug 2005): Wow. Just plain wow. 45 minutes between feeds?
Wow. A new record. You might ask, how is that even possible, when feeds
take ~40 minutes? It happened at 2:05 am when I gave her a bottle,
which she finished in ~20 minutes (and drank a record 3.3 ounces, I
should add). I went to sleep. She went to sleep. She woke up screaming.
Diane went in to figure out why and, in the end, came to the conclusion
that she really wanted to be fed. Boom. 45 minutes. Ouch. The funny
thing about that night, too, is the D. and I had come to an agreement
that I will do nighttime feedings if L. wakes before 2am and Diane will
take them otherwise. We joked that Lilah would start waking up at 1:55.
Which is precisely what happened. I decided I was still on the hook,
(16 Aug 2005): Wow. Just plain wow. 7 hours between feeds? Wow.
That's almost like a real human might do. The 7 hours was not without
its issues, though. In fact, it led me to finally do a quick software
rewrite to better illustrate awake and fussy times when they are not
the entire period between feeds. The issue was that Lilah fed at 9:20PM
and then fussed until about 11PM, at which point Diane decided to try
to feed her. But somehow the two of them feel asleep in the chair
instead and Diane woke up around midnight, but Lilah down, and Lilah
didn't get another feeding until 4:10am. Crazy. My previous plots would
have then shown "fussy" all night last night, which was clearly not
true. So now you can see that there are partial fussies and partial
awakes. We don't record precisely when
that period occurs between feeds, so I always just plot them
OK, so much for software, how about that sleep??!! And what was up with
the series of 2 hour cycles the day before? In some ways it's great if
she is banking up for the long night, but it sure is taxing (well.
mostly for Diane) to have all of those 2 hour cycles. Makes it tough to
get much else done. It's a very odd pattern. We'll see how long it
On another note, everyone warns us that the primary reason babies get
into what appears to be a comfortable pattern of actually have long
sleeps at night is so they can suddenly change and drive their parents
crazy once again. Lilah would never do anything quite that devious,
though, would she?
(15 Aug 2005): Yet another record last night! 5 1/2 hours
between feedings is a good, good thing. Someday perhaps we can answer
affirmative to that question that irritating people starting asking
around day 8: "is she sleeping through the night?" Sheez.
What I find interesting is that her daytimes are just not that much
different (at least feeding-wise) from when she first showed up here.
The average is still just below 2.5 hours and she's been creeping down
below 2 hours alot these days. Of course, in other ways her day
times are completely different, in that she is awake and alert much
more than before, even when we don't want her to be. For example, we
tried the Mike-goes-to-work-with-Lilah-and-a-bottle trick today, but if
you look carefully at the 3pm bottle today it came only moments after
the previous feeding, and then Lilah fussed and fussed and wouldn't let
Mike work on that paper he needs to be writing, did she? Mike had to
rush home earlier than expected for the next course of Mom. Someone
asked me the other day: "Does Lilah cut down on your scientific
productivity?" Answer: not any more so than anything else that takes
95% of my time.
(14 Aug 2005): My predictions came true. As soon as Uncle
John arrived Lilah stopped sleeping. Hmmmm. He showed up just before
her previous "growth spurt", too. Suspicious. But the good thing, which
you can note by seeing the two evening
bottle feedings in a row, is that Uncle J. and Aunt Carrie babysat
little Lilah while Diane and I went out for almost 4 hours. And as an
added bonus, L. had a really really nice night to boot. No 5 hour
sleeps, but good long consistent ones. The bad news, though, is that we
decided she had had enough bottles for the day so Diane got up for all
feedings (bad news. really. I promise. I felt bad.) and was sleepy and
grumpy in the morning.
I'm searching for patterns for her 4-hour plus nighttime sleeps. Here
is what I can tell so far. They are all from sometime before midnight
until sometime after midnight. No 1 AM starts go 4 hours. They are all
preceeded by a ~2:15 cycle. No 3 hour first. What does this tell us?
Well, nothing, probably, but it is true that last night I told Diane
that Lilah was fitting the pattern for a long sleep after her 8:50pm
sleep. But Diane, not nearly as enamored of the data as I, though Lilah
would awake by ~11pm, instead of the 1:10am she did. Score one for
one's ability to find patterns even when they are not statistically
significant and then convince onesself that one can make predictions
and then get excited when they randomly come true. Ahem.
(12 Aug 2005): One thing you can say about Lilah is that she
shows no tendency for foolish consistency. After a fabulous night
(Diane feeds at 10:45 pm and L. doesn't wake until 4am. I get up and D.
doesn't even stir. D. doesn't get up to feed again until 6:55am. Wow.
that's almost like a real night's sleep for her) she has a rather fussy
day. Mostly she must be gearing up for the visit of her one-year-older
cousin Paige, due to arrive any second now. Look for nice sleep
patterns that are starting to go all to hell over the weekend!
I was staring at the green/red plot above and the first three days
caught my eye. Was she really fussy for so many hours at night? How did
we survive? The memory loss has already started. But I do remember once
filling the washing machine with kitty litter instead of detergent
right around that time. Luckily I caught it in time, simply because the
kitty litter scoop is bigger and thus the detergent bin overfilled,
which confused me enough to make me stop and figure out what I was
really doing. Which was putting kitty litter in the washing machine.
Which is really not such a good idea.
(11 Aug 2005): I guess the job of heros is to disappoint their
admirers. Pretty mediocre night last night, including a pretty short
sleep after I gave her a bottle, which leads me to question: does she
sleep better when Diane feeds her than when I give her a bottle? I have
always thought so, but the data do not support my suspicion. If you
examine all non-bottle feeds between 1 am and 4am the average interval
is 2 hours 39 minutes. If you examine the same bottle feeds you find an
average of 2 hours 28 minutes. Hmmm. Eleven whole minutes. And a
Student's T-Test shows that this difference is not even statistically
significant. So I guess I should be happy about that. Me and a bottle
are almost as good as the real thing.
(10 Aug 2005): Lilah is my hero! She had her first
over-5-hour-between-feeds day ever last night. We fed her at 9:50PM and
she didn't wake up until 3:10AM, when I got up to give her a bottle, at
which point she stayed asleep until 6:15. OK, so here's the math: Diane
could have slept from about 10:30PM, when she finished feeding Lilah,
until about 6:05 AM when she started getting up to feed Lilah. That is
more than 7 1/2 hours in a row! The reality is not quite as good, of
course, as Diane seems to wake up whenever I get up to feed Lilah and
when I come back and when the cats jump on the bed and when Lilah makes
funny sounds. But let's forget this sordid details momentarily. This is
probably the longest Diane stayed in bed at night in months, given that since about
June Lilah was pressing on her bladder and making her get up ever
several hours all night long. Fabulous! Way to go Lilah. I take back
anything bad I said yesterday.
(9 Aug 2005): Did anyone else live through the late 70s and
remember Ted Koppel on late night TV with "Day 33: America Held
Hostage" discussing the Iran hostage crisis every single night? I have
to admit that every time I write "Day ??" on these logs I mentally add
"Mike and Diane held hostage." Today has been an interesting day.
Any hint that Lilah was on a monotonic march towards larger and larger
intervals between feedings was shattered. Currently the idea that
longer sleeps are simply not to be is reinforced by an extremely fussy
Lilah sitting on my lap one hour after the start of her last feeding.
LILAH! STOP IT!
I have two confessions:
First: Approximately 6 pm. I admitted to Diane that while I was
completely enamored of all things Lilah I could really really really
use a break for maybe a few days. I suggested that perhaps my feelings
were an insignificant mirror of Diane's much more valid feelings. She
(with both). We decided, however, that the cats would not know
how to get frozen
milk out of the fridge, so leaving for a few days and hoping they would
keep the house in order was really out of the question. Best we could
decide is that probably we should go to a movie sometime.
Second: Approximately 7:30 pm. Lilah was crying immediately after being
fed and I pulled out my best move, which is to dance with her to Jack
Johnson, "Better When We're Together" around the living room. She
cannot resist falling asleep
to this. Except that halfway through the song I found myself
inconsolably bawling and thinking that in another two or three or four
decades I might be dancing with Lilah at her wedding to a song much
like this. Hey, Lilah, by the way, if you are looking for a good
father-daughter dance song at your wedding, my vote, as of your fifth
week of life, is this song. I've got it on this thing that we use these
days that we call a CD. I'll
explain all the old technology to you some day. I hope it still plays
OK over the
(7 Aug 2005): Lilah is one month today! To celebrate her
birthday she had a record sleep last night, almost 5 hours! It included
an hour-long car ride at the begining, which may or may not have
contributed, but to top it off she then had two 3 1/2 hour sessions in
a row. If you look carefully you will also note that she is, in general
stretching things at more (well, at least at night). For the past 5
days we have dropped from 10 feeds/day to 9 feeds/day. This may not
seem like much to you, but it is about 45 minutes of saved time for
Diane every day (or, more accurately, 45 minutes of extra sleep at
night)! There was even her first 8 feed day back on Day 29 that
originally passed without note.
My original complaint back around Day 12, when it appeared Lilah
couldn't distinguish between day and night, is clearly no longer valid.
Night times are definitely for longer sleep period. Thank you Lilah,
thank you thank you!
(5 Aug 2005):
With the great success of the
Mike-feeds-Lilah-at-night initiative that started back on day 12, we
are considering a new initiative. The original nighttime expressed-milk
bottle feedings were so that Diane could actually get more than ~1 hour
of sleep at a shot, which is great. The problem is that she is still on
an incredibly short lease during the daytime. So yesterday I went to
the office and Diane dropped Lilah and a bottle by and Diane went out
to get a pedicure.
OK, so that is all quite exciting, but the real news of the
post-growth-spurt days has been Lilah's new nighttime habit of having
at least one almost 4 hour time between feeds. Is that not fabulous? We
have many different theories as to what is happening, including dumb
blind chance, but the better sleeping also appears to correlate with
the introduction of even tighter swadling. For a while we thought that
she enjoyed having her right arm out, so we would leave that unwrapped.
The new full swaddling regime may or may not have anything to do with
the better sleep, but we sure aren't going to stop anytime soon!
Day 28 (4 Aug 2005):
attempting to ruin my data collection scheme. For her first ~3 weeks of
life she really would be either positively asleep, awake, or fussy
between feeds. Now she is likely to sleep a bit, be happy a bit, be
fussy a bit. Data collection is much more difficult. While I could
convince Diane to help track awake times when it was a simple box
check, I'm now trying to get her to help me estimate the number of
hours of each between feeds. I suspect these data will be less
reliable. Also the green and red areas on the plot will only be
indicative of the number of hours awake between feeds, not precisely
when between the feed that that happened. But I need to rewrite some
software to deal with that first. One of these days..... But do check
out the brand new Thursday Project
. We here
at lilahbrown.com are quite excited about it.
(3 Aug 2005): Today is a red-letter day. Or perhaps we can call
it a blue-letter day. Notice the blue feeding at about 9pm? This was
after Diane and I had a very nice dinner at home, including Diane's
first bottle of wine (well, OK, half of it. I had some too. Maybe she
even only had a glass....) in an
awfully long time, to celebrate Lilah's first month of life. I then fed
Lilah from the previously-pumped milk while Diane pumped out the
alcohol-laden milk and tossed it ("pump and dump" for those in the
know). It was a incredibly nice and relaxing dinner and Lilah slept
through the night better than ever (wait, I didn't give her the
alcohol-laden milk, did I? ok. just kidding). I don't think Diane reads
this commentary since if she did she would likely be horrified to find
details about pumping of milk. So don't tell her you saw it here.
(2 August 2005): Lilah says: Happy Birthday to Grandma in
Alabama! Come visit soon! Then Lilah says to Dad, at 3am, How come I'm
not on TV again? I think I'll just sit and cry for a few hours until
the TV crews show up.
Day 25 (1 August 2005): Notice
the 4am awake period. This corresponded to Lilah being live on Good
Morning America. A bit crazy, I know, but for her grandmother from
Alabama who has not yet had a chance to come visit, this was a pretty
exciting way to first get to see Lilah.
Day 24 (31 July 2005): Things
are -- maybe -- calming down. Is it a coincedence that all of this
happened at the same time as 10th-planet-frenzy? I'm sorry for all of
this, Lilah. I've been a bit distracted for a few days and I hope it is
not creeping into your tiny head.
(30 July 2005): I think we read Lilah "The Very Hungry
Catepillar" too early in life. She now wants to be a beautiful
butterfly. Diane made the mistake of actually trying to leave the house
today, leading to an unprecedented emergency noon-time bottle feeding.
Whew. We are glad, at least, that from everything we have read these
growth spurts don't last more than a day or two. Sleepy-Lilah come home!
(29 July 2005):
Can you say growth spurt? We were lead to
believe something like this would happen, when Lilah would go from her
semi-irregularly spaced 2.5 hour feeds to an always-hungry voraciously
feeding machine. It happened today. Today was also the day of the big
press conference about the 10th planet
and thus was the longest that Dad was away from home since Lilah was
born. Diane had to deal with this poor fussy baby all day long by
herself (happily with the help of Lilah's Uncle John). We are
told that growth spurts like this only last about a day. Bring back our
normal baby, please! Soon. The good news is that her 3am bottle feeding
this morning corresponded with when I had to wake up to go on the Today
show. So that's convenient at least.
Day 20 (27 July 2005):
the nice pattern Lilah has gotten into! We are even starting to believe
that we can predict when she will be awake and hanging out during the
day. Her morning wake up times are my favorite; we usually sit at the
table while I eat breakfast and read her the paper. How long will this
phase last? Will Lilah sleep more soon?
Day 18 (25 July 2005):
What a great night! Went over four hours
between feedings. Is this the start of a new trend? One could almost
convince oneself from the data that she is gradually begining to sleep
longer. Go Lilah go!